In this episode of Dawn of a New Era, I’m joined by the incredible Lindsey Kane, who shares her honest and empowering journey of self-discovery.
We talk about navigating the highs and lows of entrepreneurship, the power of building authentic connections, and why finding fulfilment starts with understanding yourself.
This conversation is full of real talk, a few laughs, and some refreshing perspectives from a woman who knows how to turn life’s lessons into lasting success.
Highlights:
- (3:28) The Power of Personal Development and Community
- (6:17) Business Philosophy and Values
- (15:09) Societal Pressures and Self-Worth
- (19:04) The Role of Social Media and Self-Expression
- (37:43) The Importance of Self-Care and Self-Love
- (49:06) The Role of Vulnerability and Authenticity
- (49:18) Future Plans and Final Thoughts
Transcription
Dawn McGruer
Hey, it’s Dawn McGruer, the business growth coach and welcome to dawn of a New Era, the podcast where we talk all things health, wealth and happiness and where founders share the good and bad and ugly of being an entrepreneur.
Welcome, Lindsay, to the private island where we are filming the podcast. And this is an exciting new series of Dawn of a New Era. So welcome.
So for the audience, can you just share a little bit about obviously you and your journey. Now I know from following you that you’re really passionate about self worth.
Talking about your journey of self discovery and really looking at self fulfillment and what that looks like, you know, not just as an entrepreneur but in life. What’s your background and what do you do?
Lindsey Kane
Well, thank you for having me here. This island’s amazing.
Honestly, it’s been so lovely to be with so many other like minded women and I think that has been one of the key things is being around like minded women who like the possibilities are endless. I had a bit of a, two years ago I had a bit of a thing where I was just so sick of feeling lost and I couldn’t explain what it was.
I’d had my daughter and I was doing different jobs, I’d set up different businesses over a period of years. Some worked, some didn’t. Made a lot of expensive mistakes and I just kept crying, I think.
So I suppose if I’m being brutally honest, and we’re going to go straight in, is after my daughter probably there was a bit of postnatal depression of some kind, but I was like, I’m not a depressed person so it won’t happen to me. But I just couldn’t explain the sadness.
And then, you know, you’ve got family and friends that would say, yeah, but you know, you’ve got this or you’ve got that or you get to do this or experience this. And it’s like none of that external stuff matters. It’s. I can’t, I’m not, I can’t help how I feel. I’m not like in charge of it. I just feel sad.
And then sort of two years ago I started to do therapy and just really self reflect and I think I’d never really done that before. I’d never in any sort of situation look at the common denominator. And if it was me, you know, I would always be like, no, it can’t be me.
Dawn McGruer
Like, you’re not the problem.
Lindsey Kane
Yeah, I’m not the problem. And I would, I wouldn’t really be very good at taking feedback.
I would be, you Know, I take things as criticism a lot of the time, and I just thought, I’m gonna have to change. Like, I saw the Definition of insanity, the Einstein quote, and it really stayed with me.
And I thought, my God, yeah, I’m expecting different results, but I’m doing the exact same thing on the daily. So that’s when I started to, like, look into personal development stuff. And first of all, I did a really expensive property course.
It was brilliant because a lot of it was based around mindset, and you were with hundreds of people and they’re all wanting a better life, they’re all wanting that more, or it was just electric. I was addicted to this environment, and that’s been the first thing.
And now I do things like this regularly because I think it’s so important, especially as an entrepreneur.
It can be quite lonely and isolating, and it’s important to have a circle of people around you where you can just, you know, what do you think about this? And am I on the right track, where it’s really open feedback, you’re not judging each other. So, yeah, I’ve been doing that.
I’ve met some amazing women over the years, I think, as well, I’ve spent all my life thinking that women are competition because I was bullied at school. I was like, girls are bitches. I want to hang out with guys. And I’ve never.
I’ve really stayed away and kept my distance with other women and not let other women get close to me. And I’ve had, like, a couple of friends over the years, and now I’m like, oh, my God. It’s actually really powerful when we come together.
And that’s the kind of new thing that I’m going into, that I want to help more of, like, the younger generation, that we don’t have to be competition. You just have to be really good at reading people and knowing who’s full of shit and who’s not. So, you know, when you.
When you start reading people, you can see what their intentions are. And if they’ve got that good, you just feel it. You can feel the energy.
So, yeah, I’ve just got a really amazing group of women around me that’s, you know, I’m helping them, they’re helping me, and it’s really nice. You’re getting momentum together.
And I think that’s one of the most important things and the most important change that I’ve made in the last couple of years. And I. About two years ago as well, I launched a supplement brand. So it’s all about biohacking, longevity, how to improve your health span.
You know, you don’t want to be 100, but sort of die when you’re 70.
You want to point, you want to live like a tortoise, where they live till they’re about 150 and their health is the exact same until like the week before they die, and then a week before they get a bit ill and then they die. That’s what I want. I don’t want to live that, you know, basically being dead many years before I actually die.
And it’s about closing that gap and improving the health span. So these seven ingredients in the formula of Jolt is all evidence based, scientifically backed, and incredible ingredients that really make changes.
And it really helps people. It’s helping with aches and pains, their energy libido, like people with going through peri or menopause.
It’s giving that boost of free testosterone which helps them with their energy levels and sleep.
And then on top of that, with all our content, we’re trying to educate with humor because my husband’s a comedian, so he’s involved in the business and we trying to educate in the really simple terms because I don’t understand all these scientific garbage, like garble, you know, I don’t understand it. I’m like, oh, I get bored, turn off. Whereas my husband, he would, like, really explain things to me simply. Most people like me.
Most people can’t be bothered to take millions of different supplements. They can’t be bothered to look at all the clinical trials and read all this scientific language.
They just want to really simply explain to them and convenient. So that’s where Jolt was born. Basically. We launched this product. We thought, should we give it a go? We’ll see if people want it and launch.
Amazing. So I think we’re quite aligned on what we believe in terms of.
I’m passionate about growth, hacking, I talk about health, wealth and happiness on the podcast. And I believe in as much fulfillment in life as possible. And my key word is enrichment.
I would love to know, how would you describe your business philosophy in three words? What are the three things that stand out for you? Business philosophy as in Jolt or just like in my kind of being an entrepreneur?
Dawn McGruer
You know, what is important to you? We see a lot of people obviously, on the online world. What do you stand for? Like, what is your kind of, like, conviction? What is your kind of like?
These are the things that I have to have when I’m working with people.
Lindsey Kane
I think openness and I think curiosity, and I Suppose values. Actually, I was speaking to friend Katie Leeson, who obviously, you know, and she talks a lot about values and. And I’ve only just realized that.
I think I was speaking to her recently about actually when.
When I employ someone or you take someone on or friend or whatever, the first thing that I look for, and I didn’t really realize until recently was the values. So if I then have to disconnect from those people, that’s.
I kind of feel I find it harder for me because the first reason that attracted me to them in the first place was something about their values and aligning with. With my values. So I think that would be the three things. I can’t remember what I actually said now, but they were the three things.
Dawn McGruer
Yeah, but the thing is, in business is that, you know, if we’re honest, we see all of the curated content on social media, we see people showing up, presenting these brands, and I would love to know, you know, what is the most interesting piece of criticism that you’ve ever received that you’ve learned from in the entrepreneur world?
Lindsey Kane
I think from my husband. I think he. We’ve been together 12 years, married for 10, and I’ve watched him be told no all the time.
But then to the outside world, they’re like, oh, my God, he’s so lucky. So this. And I’m like, he misses so many different family occasions, so many friends, birthdays, because of work. And he absolutely loves his work.
He loves the challenges. He loves. He just loves everything about comedy and making people laugh.
And I’ve watched him be so open to feedback over the years, and he’ll be like, oh, I don’t even. I don’t even. It doesn’t bother me anymore. And I’m like, does it not bother you? And he’s like, no, I’ll learn from it. So I’ll. I’ll take.
Even though you might think it’s criticism, I’ll take the learning from that and then apply it to the next time I go again. So it’ll make me better, it’ll make the joke better or make whatever I’m doing better.
And I just remember him saying to me, lindsay, if you’re gonna get to that next stage in whatever, do business, take on feedback. Like, you know, you have to. You have to take on feedback. Sometimes it’s not personal, and then it’s learning the difference between the two.
Whether it’s like.
He’ll say to me, lindsay, when you told that story on that podcast, there’s a part that you missed out this happened and that happened, like, that would make it punch more. And I’m like, oh, my God, yes. Like, the next time I say it, I’ll do that.
And then I’ve learned now, you know, you can pick up on people’s energy if they’re. If they’re aligned with it or if it doesn’t resonate, okay, move on. And he sort of taught me that because he’s so good at reading a room.
So I think he’s been my main teacher that just be open to feedback.
And, you know, if you’ve got anyone, friends or family where they’re quite critical, it’s important to go, that’s not feedback, that’s just being critical. Like, oh, you mustn’t do this, or you mustn’t say that, because I don’t like that. Well, that’s not my problem. Isn’t it?
If you don’t like what I’m doing, that’s nothing to do with me. And it’s having that strength to put that boundary in place. So that’s the main thing. I would say that shifted for me.
Dawn McGruer
Yeah, absolutely. And I think the thing is, is that we talk about this a lot, about the fact that we are exposed in the online space.
You’ve started multiple businesses and not all of them are in existence. And, you know, I believe that that is totally the journey. And what is your feeling about judgment online?
You know, we’re seeing a huge, huge shift in the way that people are having a voice online. And it’s not always positive. There’s a lot of trolling that go. There’s a lot of victimization.
How do you deal with when somebody goes onto your socials and is maybe not in the most positive manner talking to you or trying to get you to talk back? How do you manage it?
Lindsey Kane
So over the years, I’ve like, I say I have to be married to someone who has a following. It’s. I had really mean things said about my looks person, you know, my looks. And I would be like, oh, my God, that’s so hurtful.
And I remember the first time I, like, cried and that that was like years ago. Whereas now I can come at it empathy and compassion. To be like, I actually feel really sorry for them.
To actually put something out when you don’t know a person, to actually take the time to search it, be annoyed by it, then make a comment on it. That’s really sad that there’s something. Their life must be so empty to have time to do that.
And what fascinates me is I’ve got a few friends who have showed me the website Tattle where they know where they’re like, can you believe this bullying goes on? And it’s shocking to me and fascinating at the same time that these, these websites exist where they just troll people.
And when you actually, if you were to look at some of the threads that it’s sad but hilarious at the same time where these people are getting so annoyed going get so triggered. Oh, who does she think she is? Oh, have you seen what she’s posted today? Oh, she looks like this, she looks like that. Oh, she’s a rubbish mom.
She’s at another event. I’m like you, but you don’t know. You’re not in her house, you’re not in her life. How do you know what she’s doing?
You’re just judging them based on what this person puts out online. She doesn’t post the kids all the time. It doesn’t mean that she’s not with her kids.
And I think it’s about coming from it, like you feel sorry for them because I don’t have time to do that. And also what’s hard as well, it’s a lot of women bringing other women down.
I posted a picture recently of me at an awards and like, someone made a comment about how much makeup I was wearing and I shouldn’t be wearing that or I shouldn’t be wearing the dress because it was quite revealing. And I’m nearly 40 and I’m a mom and I shouldn’t be doing that. And I’m like, but who made these rules?
Like, I don’t live in a world now where there’s any rules. I make my own rules. And if, you know, whereas these people live in, obviously there’s a ceiling that they live with many rules around them.
And I think that’s quite sad because they’re not. They’ll never be happy. I think that’s, that’s ultimately what it is for me, is that you couldn’t possibly be happy if you’re putting hatred out.
If you’re criticizing somebody else, it’s because you deeply unhappy in yourself.
Dawn McGruer
So how have things shifted? So if you think about the fact that you’ve been an entrepreneur for many years, you’ve been in business, you’ve experienced a lot.
Now, when we think about health, wealth and happiness, what is the shift, you know, in terms of what we believed, maybe from how we were brought up to what you truly believe and live for now?
Lindsey Kane
Well, I think actually everything we’re ever taught Is only what our parents were taught or who we surround ourselves, what they’ve been taught.
And you know, I’ve had a chat with a few girls this weekend about you wouldn’t get annoyed with you say your partner if they can’t speak French going, why don’t you speak French? It’s so annoying. I cannot believe you don’t speak French. Well, you can’t be annoyed with someone if they’ve never been taught that.
So again, if someone. And what I’ve learned is as well, if we’re upset by something or triggered by something, it’s not necessarily the person who said it to us.
We’re the one that’s putting meaning behind what they’ve said or the word. They might have no clue that it’s offended us.
And I think it’s again, it’s like learning when someone says something that triggers us personally trying to figure out where it stemmed from.
This last two years, and it’s really helped me is when I can see where, when I can pinpoint where some things come from, like where my trigger is, where it’s where that seed was sown, I can cut the ties. Like I’m realizing where my self worth issues have come from.
And because I’m like, I was really confident when I was younger and I’m confident now and I had a lovely childhood. So where, where has it stemmed from? I don’t understand. You know, you hear a lot of all these childhood traumas but like I didn’t have all that.
So where’s it come from for me? And going through like therapy I’ve realized, well, I was bullied by many girls at school.
Really awful, horrible, that would just chip away my appearance. And I had a nose job at 16 because of it. Like my background was Ukraine and Italy, Italian. So I had a nose that reflected that.
And they just were really awful to me. And I often wonder actually do they even know the impact that they had on me? Cause they ruined my life. Like they ruined school for many years.
It affected my confidence. Then when I started going out and I started getting boyfriends, I felt like privileged that these boys would like take an interest in me.
Cause I had such low self worth because I’m like, oh well, I’m ugly, I’m this, I’m that. I know it surprises a lot of people because I had no idea you felt like that. I was like, this is honestly how I felt inside.
This was all the front and then all the boyfriends, when I look back, they’ve all cheated on me. So every boyfriend that I’ve gone with, I’m like, oh God, I’m so lucky to get the crumbs from him. And now I’m like, oh my God.
When these guys went off and cheated on me and I took it personally, it was never actually about me. It was about them and their upbringing.
They were brought up in families where their parents cheated and the other parents stayed and accepted it and tolerated it. And then that’s the lesson that they’ve been taught. Well, you know, someone cheats and the other person stays and you just accept it.
And that’s how it is. So you can see generational like patterns just forming all the time. I’ve only recently just learned that actually now I need to detach that.
And I have realized that my self worth has been based on who I was with. You know, I, oh, I’m with him. So he’s chosen to be with me, therefore I’m worthy.
No, I need to find it within myself and that’s what I’ve done recently.
Dawn McGruer
Well, there’s probably nobody listening to this podcast who hasn’t experienced at some point in their life some sort of self worth validation or attachment where they see that maybe the job they have or the money they earn is them, you know, that is their success. And we put a lot of pressure on ourselves and we are not that thing. You know, having money doesn’t make us valid.
You know, we put all of these attachments to things. What’s your feeling about the fact that, you know, we are very focused unfortunately on societal goals?
There something that feels that they, you know, they’re pressured around us as we’re growing up day to day as entrepreneurs and business owners, we get to choose to add these amazing layers of more meaningful goals around fulfillment and freedom and fun. What’s your message?
If someone is starting a business right now, what would you say to them in terms of not falling into the trap, of attaching value to the wrong things and establishing the right powerful goals that are going to make them, you know, healthy and wealthy and happy.
Lindsey Kane
So I’ve been really reflecting about this recently and so I’m about to launch my podcast called Bedtime Theories. And it is all about this.
It’s how we live in this fast paced world, especially on social media where it’s all blue ticks, likes, you know, views and we’re obsessed and we’re consuming all this kind of just fast paced like craziness and it’s not good for our brains.
And then you see all these younger ones, God, I sound so old now but like you see all these younger ones and they’re living this life, they’re in these posh cars, they’re going to all these amazing expensive holiday destinations, going at the most expensive restaurants, wearing all these clothes and bags and all these. There’s so many people watching that, going how the hell, you know how they’re doing it.
And then because they can’t do that or they don’t feel like they can do it, that impact, oh, I’m not good enough.
Because I’m not, I’ve not got that bag, I’ve not got those shoes and I’ve got an eight year old daughter and I just think I, as a parent I have a duty of care to her to like, you don’t need all this. Yes, it’s nice to have those things. It’s nice to have bags if that’s what you like. Shoes, cars, houses, holidays.
I love to go travel and experience those things. It doesn’t necessarily have to be really posh stuff. I love doing like camping as well with the family. It’s more about the experiences for me.
And yes, I have a nice bag or whatever, but it doesn’t, I don’t buy it to fill a hole.
And I have, I see people that, especially in the kind of different industries where those things, those bags, that, that means something to them, that is a part of them, you know, they’re putting the value on that I’m somebody because I’ve got this bag or I’m somebody because I’ got this car. If that all went away tomorrow, I’ve got a great foundation with my husband and my family that I’ll be fine.
The way I look at it is, oh, aren’t I lucky that I get to experience this? I get to appreciate the fabric on this bag and the stitching and I get to appreciate these different things.
So I’ve always full of gratitude with them. I think that’s really important is gratitude and also what are you doing it for?
Like see when I was younger I would try and get, you know, I’d save up for this bag or whatever and I’m like, why did. I’m annoyed at myself, why did I do that?
I don’t even like those people now that, you know, I used to hang around with like why did I feel the need to try and fit in? And now I’m like, I will not fit into any pigeonhole that someone trying and puts me in.
If you like me, you like me and if you don’t, that’s not my problem. It’s just really important to try and understand what you’re doing it for.
So if you are doing it for, like, why, then that means that you need validation in some way. Where’s that missing piece of validation?
And just speaking to a lot of the women this weekend, it’s become quite apparent that a lot of people have like mommy and daddy issues and not even intentional. It’s not like these parents are doing it to her or to do with any malice.
Again, it comes back to they weren’t taught to show emotion or to express feelings. And I think as well, we’ve got so much more knowledge now with the psychology of children.
And when you do, when you do certain things, actually when they get older, it’s going to have an impact. They didn’t know it back then. They weren’t doing it on purpose. They thought, oh, I’m doing it to build them up, make them strong.
So I think it’s about learning where it comes from. And if it’s not done with malice, then you have to forgive like your parents.
But I do think, listening to a lot of people, I would love to speak to a psychologist about this to understand more is if our parents haven’t given us that, is that why we’re seeking it from elsewhere? But I think again, for me personally, I can only speak from my experience. When you can find the root cause of something, you can cut ties from it.
And then honestly, it’s been like the most freeing things. I’m like, well, it doesn’t, it doesn’t bother me now. I choose not to allow that to bother me.
Dawn McGruer
So when we think about societal pressures, there’s a lot of pressure to conform in society, in business. What is your view in terms of the fact that things like cosmetic surgery feel very much like common day? There’s something that is accepted.
You know, maybe 10 years ago it wasn’t as popular, but there are so many people who feel the pressure to look and present themselves in a certain way. What do you think about where we’re heading with that?
Lindsey Kane
It really scares me actually, especially having a daughter, especially having filters, really anti filters, like, I hate them. I think it’s really effing up our next generation.
And also, like, as a, as a young girl especially, they look up, all look up to their moms and think that their mom’s the most amazing thing. They think they’re beautiful. So if you’re. I see it with people, I know that I’ve got young kids and the mums are beautiful.
But the mums are using filters and then the kids are getting in photographs that are the filters going on them as well.
So I think subconsciously what’s going to happen is, and I don’t think we’re aware of it, is when that girl gets a little bit older, she’ll be like, well, I need filters because my mum had filtered. So I thought, I think my mom’s beautiful and she’s still using filters. So therefore I need filters.
So I think it’s everything that I try and do now, everything I do and everything I say, like, why am I saying it? I think a lot of people say shit that they don’t actually have meaning behind it. They don’t really understand why they’re saying the words.
So I’m trying to slow down and I’m trying to. Whatever I’m trying to articulate, I want it to have meaning. I want it to have an impact.
I don’t just want to say something because it’s trending or someone else has said it, or I think that’s the other thing as well.
Like, over the years with experimenting with content and I’m trying to find my feet and I’m trying to work out my content pillars and do all this and discover what my following likes, what I like. And I feel like I’ve been quite generic with some of the stuff to sort of dip my toe in, test it, you know, I don’t want to be judged too much.
Now I’m like, oh, I know what I’m passionate about.
And when I’ve been vulnerable and expressed that, that’s when I’ve had more engagement and more messages and DMs and compliments based on how I’ve made someone feel. Because I’m being more mindful about what I’m actually talking about. I’m not just copying what everyone else is doing.
And that’s the mistake I’ve made in other businesses.
If I’ve had a vision and it’s not worked and another business has come along, I’ve gone, oh, I need to pivot and copy them, because I’m not doing it right. It’s like, no, I’ve lost focus of why I started in the first place. So it always comes back to, why are you doing it? What’s the purpose for it?
What’s your goal? And if you can’t answer it, then what are you doing it for? It’s just a waste of time.
Dawn McGruer
So you’re using your social media as your voice, like a social movement, like a movement towards like joining you on this journey of self discovery, which is fascinating, but what is the, the biggest challenge in business? Because it’s not all sunshine and rainbows and sometimes like day to day, there’s one hell of a fuck up that goes on.
What do we feel right now is hard in business?
Lindsey Kane
So I’ve had a really lovely launch period over this last 18 months. I’ve got a really amazing team. It’s the first time in business where I’ve got other people involved in it.
So there’s me, my husband and my husband’s best friends with the three people who started Jolt. And we work really well because we all have what each other needs. Whereas in other businesses I’ve just, I don’t ask for help.
I have my head in the laptop. I don’t like networking, I don’t want to speak to people. I just want to work for my laptop that will never work.
And I see a lot of new startups doing it. I see a lot of new startups trying to do everything from the packaging, social media, customer emails, everything. And no one is superwoman.
Don’t believe what it is on social media. Try and delegate as much as possible.
What it, what you think it might cost might not actually be as expensive, but what that allows you to do in your time, well, that frees you up, will be the most impact for you. So even if it costs you like an extra sort of 50 quid for the day to get someone to package it, what can you do? What’s your time worth?
And I think it’s trying to understand what your time’s worth instead of trying to do everything and be everything to everyone. This thing that I struggle in business is when it’s something I can’t control and that’s everything. But I suppose it’s the challenges.
Like we’ve launched in a new territory, we’ve launched a new country, we’ve never done that before. So the process took a lot longer than we anticipated.
You know, the contracts actually getting the product and the stock out there, the testing that’s required, you know, everything’s third party tested. Our ingredients are pure. A lot of people are buying from companies where they have no idea where the product’s from, the ingredients.
And so it was a long process, so that took a lot longer. But you know, you’ve just got to, it will happen. So I don’t really get stressed about stuff like that because that’s what’s going to happen.
It’s more shocking if it doesn’t happen. But you’ve just got to roll with it and ride the wave and find someone that can help you execute it as quickly as possible.
Dawn McGruer
So one thing that I think is fascinating is that when you meet someone in real life, you get a real flavor of the personality and you are funny. So you always have loads of stories to tell.
And if you were to share one story, what would be like the most embarrassing story to share with our listeners?
Lindsey Kane
I mean, it’s going to sound really wanky now. If I like name drop. I mean, Russell, my husband has a whole like stand up tour on them. There’s many things I always make a fool of myself do.
You know, funnily enough it was because I don’t really drink that much anymore, but I did have, I would, when I was going to an event, I would have like a glass of Liquid Confidence. I would have to have a couple of drinks before I go into somewhere.
And the most kind of iconic one, in my husband’s words is we went to, we got invited to a Prince’s Trust event and Prince Charles at the time was having a summer garden party. And I hadn’t. I always, I’m terrible at packing. Like, I always pack the wrong things.
Like I’ll pack summer stuff when it’s raining and winter stuff when it’s sunny. And it was the hottest day in London in like years. And I’d taken the wrong outfit. I’d taken like a nice suit.
Like I thought I’m gonna be this big boss like suit woman. Oh my God, it was horrific. It was too hot. I was just sweating. So I had to get like a T shirt dress, which was not appropriate for the occasion.
But I thought I’m gonna be cool. So at least as in cool temperature, not cool as in I look cool. Went to the garden party after my Liquid Confidence.
I had a couple on the way in and the rules were like, you know, you gotta sort of wait to be spoken to. You’re all in your circles and he’ll come to you, just, you know, have a chat, see how it goes. I’m like shaking. Oh my God, I’m meeting royalty.
I’m not worthy. You know, that’s where that comes into it. And then we go around the circle. He comes to me and my husband, you know, I’m chatting, getting involved.
And off he went. And my husband was like, well, great, we didn’t fuck up. Well done. And then I said, I’m just gonna go and grab my bag and my drink.
So I was like, I’ll put it in a bush. Somewhere. So I went to grab my champagne and my bag and then the crowds were gathering so I was like, oh, excuse me, excuse me. Oh, excuse me babe.
And like move. I don’t even say the word babe. I don’t even know where that came from. And I said, excuse me babe, move someone out the way, go grab my bag.
Turned back and everyone was like that, what’s happening? I couldn’t understand what happened. And I’d basically grabbed Prince Charles by the love, handled and physically moved him out of my way.
And it was just the most horrific moment. Like the security was alert, you know, and apparently he was fine about it. He’s got a good sense of humor apparently. But I also did another thing.
I don’t know whether I should say this but the prince’s trust, like Russell was like, I’m really sorry that Lindsay did that because obviously it went around the group and I, Russell forwarded me the response. Well, I thought he forwarded me but he just replied and copied me in. So I actually responded to that email and I did swear I was like, oh thank.
Because he said, I’m really sorry about this, you know, hopefully we won’t get banned from any occasions ever again. And they responded going, oh yeah, no it would be funny. He’s fine about it. So I responded to that email going, oh thank f.
They’ve not, you know, I’ve not been cut out. But I responded to everyone at the prince’s trust. So Russell was phoning me going, lizzie, what are you doing? Like you’re just ruining it for me.
Like we laugh about it now but that’s probably one of the most embarrassing things. Yeah.
Dawn McGruer
So, oh my goodness, I’m in tears. So if you think about your business journey and you think about the highs, what has been like the funniest thing that you’ve done in business?
Lindsey Kane
I think finding myself, I think actually doing the stuff that I’ve always wanted to do. I’m really proud of myself and I think as a society we’re taught we can’t self promote.
We shouldn’t sort of give ourselves a pat on the back and why like Americans are so good at that. And I think there’s nothing wrong with it.
And I think if you’ve got people around you sort of saying oh you shouldn’t do that or you sound big headed. Well, that’s just their limitations and how they feel about themselves.
I just think there’s so many people that want to do things and want to change their lives but don’t know where to Start and just don’t feel like they’re able to or they’ve got the capabilities to do it. You know, you hear a lot of people coming from, like, a friend of mine who came from, like a council state was like, oh, we can’t do that.
It’s not, we don’t do that where we’re from. And it’s like, but that’s, you’re not where you grew up. Like, you can change that.
And I think it’s learning that you, you do have the power to change. And we’re just, especially women, like, we are really powerful. We give life. Like, we have a portal for life.
Like, we’re so powerful, yet we, we don’t act like we are. And we are. So when, when, when other women come to force, like, come into force together, like, we’re, we’re unstoppable. And that’s what I love.
Dawn McGruer
So what’s one thing that you believe or you’re passionate about in entrepreneurship that others don’t? That, like, is the complete, you know, juxtaposition to what society or people think?
Lindsey Kane
Again, it comes back to what you, what you doing and why are you doing it. I think again, recently this year, I’m like, what do I like? And do I like it?
Or is it because I’ve been told that this is what I should do, shouldn’t do by school, by ex boyfriends, all these different things. And it’s just learning who I am as a person and going, no, I actually don’t like that. So I’m going to say no. Like, no is my favorite word now.
If I don’t like something, then I won’t do it.
There was, there’s a group of friends that were in, and there’s a friend of a friend, and they were like, oh, do you want to chip in to buy some flowers for her? And I’m thinking, well, I don’t, don’t like that person. I don’t like her values. I don’t like all the side digs.
And I just said, no, I don’t want to contribute. They were like, why? And I said, because I just don’t. I’m like, I’m not. I don’t have to give reasons. I don’t have to justify myself.
And you hear so many, especially women, justifying why they’re doing everything that they’re doing. You don’t have to. If it makes sense to you, that’s good. You’re not hurting anyone. You’ve got good values. You don’t need to justify Yourself.
We need to stop that.
Dawn McGruer
And have you ever had a situation where someone has made a judgment about you that you have struggled with, or had a situation where you’ve met somebody maybe from the past that’s triggered you?
Lindsey Kane
I get it quite a lot. Where. Because I was in property, so I sold my first business and a car to fund my first property.
But when I started posting about it, because I was looking at working with angel investors to fund my future investments, so I started posting about what I was doing. You’ll get people going. Are you showing off? It’s like, no, I’m not showing off. It’s a business. I’m trying to give someone a return on the money. If I.
If I don’t put myself out there, how am I going to get business? Like, it’s ridiculous. And then people would go, oh, what you talking about? Like, your husband’s bought you that. And I’m like, I. I did that.
I want a bit of, you know, now. I’m like, oh, I don’t need that validation now because I know the truth.
My husband, everyone else that matters knows the truth, so I don’t need to try and convert everybody else. But I still get that. I still get people saying, oh, you only got. You’ve only got that because of your husband. That’s what they want to believe.
Then that makes them feel better. It makes no difference to me. And I remember I trained for a year or a couple of years to do makeup. I got a makeup job from. I worked, did really well.
I kept getting rebooked on this particular job, and a producer came in and introduced me as somebody like, oh, this is such a person’s wife. And I’m like, oh, my name is Lindsay and I’m here to do makeup. It’s nothing to do with my husband.
So I think for a long time, nothing my husband was doing because he’s really supportive. It was how I felt about myself that I felt I had to justify or show people and prove people that I know it is me, but I don’t.
It’s just a waste of energy doing that. When you’re trying to convince people you’re right or they’re wrong, it’s a waste of energy.
That’s one of the massive changes that I’ve made in the last couple of years. I’ve removed myself from gossip, removed myself from drama. It is a choice. I’ve actually learned this.
You can participate in drama and you don’t have to. You have a choice.
So I would evaluate your surroundings and Do a life audit, who drains you, who makes you feel good and put boundaries where’s necessary.
Dawn McGruer
Yeah, it’s about being unapologetic. Right. So people love.
And I’m always fascinated with this because I talk a lot about obviously health hacks, wealth hacks, you know, about my passion for buying gold on a Friday, but also about experiences, enrichment. What are the top health hacks that you do day to day that just keeps you happy, healthy and wealthy?
Lindsey Kane
Like I say, I’ve got a longevity business and yes, I sell a supplement.
But actually the other thing that we’re passionate about is if you can’t afford a supplement, what other things that you can you be doing in life to help improve your own health span that will impact your longevity? So stress, you know, stress is a big thing. Sleep, you know, movement, are you moving?
Have you got a form of exercise that you’re like, I hate doing hiit exercises, I hate doing cardio. And I spent years trying to compete with the others. Well, they’re doing that, they’re getting up at 5am I need to do that?
No, we just need to find what works for you. Everyone’s different. So I love formal Pilates, that’s my thing. I love barre. So I do those things.
And I think it’s about being kind to yourself, like not giving yourself such a hard time again. You hear a lot of women, when you’re in groups, groups of women like we have been, you hear there’s so much guilt. People, women feel guilt a lot.
And like where, where did those feelings come from? People making you feel guilty, are they putting all this guilt on your shoulders? Like I say, the life audit is a biohack in itself.
If you’re surrounded by people that bring you down, that make you feel shit, that criticize you, it has an impact on how you feel about yourself, which will have an impact on your longevity and your overall happiness. If you’re surrounded with like minded people, women that are going to lift you. I don’t know about you, but I feel a bit like God, like this.
After this weekend I feel like I can do anything because I’ve. My cup’s filled. You’ve been around those women and everything’s a possibility. Nothing’s impossible, nothing’s like out of reach.
It’s just like, oh, well, how do we get there? And I like being around people like that. And I think that’s a biohack that we don’t talk about. But ultimately it comes from within.
Like I said to you, that I discuss on my Podcast. It’s not, not the bags, it’s not this. It’s from within.
It’s finding it within and not finding it from anybody else, not needing it from anything else. Everything we have is inside of us. And it’s funny, like I was speaking the other day about journaling and the importance of it.
Even though I don’t do it religiously, it’s really helped in moments where I’ve doubted myself. And a friend of mine found a journal from a few years ago and she was like, I’ve made bad choices in relationship.
My inner voice obviously doesn’t work because I’ve not seen the red flags. Then fast forward a few years, she’s gone back to these journals and it’s all red flags. She was just choosing to ignore it.
And that comes back to a self worth issue with her. And the same with me. You know, when you look back at journals, I bloody knew the whole time that they were cheating. Why did I stay there?
I knew it, I was writing it down at the time. I just didn’t follow my own voice. So it’s about tapping into that. And like I’m teaching my child, if she goes, oh, I don’t like that person.
I’m like, well that’s. Listen to it, that’s really important. And in a situation I will say to her, how do you feel?
And if she goes, I don’t know, but I don’t like it or I feel a bit funny, I’m like, you have to listen to your voice. Always listen to it. And again, teaching her to listen to her feelings, that her thoughts are valid, her feelings are valid, you know.
So I think it’s really important to instill that into children.
Dawn McGruer
So growing up, one of the things we’ve been talking about for the past few days, I mean, we’ve talked about a lot, is obviously connection, trusting your guide, but also some of the unhealthy habits that we’ve had.
And I remember growing up like the Kate Mosser era and literally everyone was drinking Diet Coke, living on Marlboro Lights, and you know, if you were eating, you’re having an apple. I mean, that is pretty extreme. But I remember the, you know, the pressure of weight and eating was such a big one.
What is the most extreme thing that you’ve fallen into that you regret? That was an unhealthy habit around health?
Lindsey Kane
I don’t think I have actually, because when I was at school, like I say, I got bullied at school anyway. So I suppose like the most extreme thing was when I reflect, I’m like, actually that’s quite messed up to have. I basically had a nose job at 16.
I left school and the idea was people will forget about my face. Really. You know, you grow up in that time when, from school to college in that six weeks. So I had a nose job. I was really young to do that.
And actually looking back, it was quite messed up that I changed not only my appearance because of something that someone said, but also that’s my heritage and my background, like a part of my family and where I’ve come from. And that story’s erased because of those girls. That’s the most extreme thing I’ve done. I have never done anything since then.
But I’ve also seen the effects of eating disorders and things like that and it’s actually quite shocking. And just you know how where it starts and the little comments, oh, you look chubby or fat.
And I’m really like, honestly, I’m passionate about bullying as well. Like it’s the impact other kids can have. And this was 20 years ago that I had, oh my God, 21 years ago this year that I have my nose job.
What is it going to look like now when my daughter’s got social media to contend with all these awful, you know, it does scare me, but my family are very good. Like my mom and dad were always just like, you don’t need to do those things, you know, you don’t need to do those things to fit in.
And I always felt comfortable. So when I had a group of friends that were going off getting drunk in the park and you know, losing their virginity really young, I never did that.
I just wanted to stay at home. I wanted to, I didn’t want to participate in it. So I’ve always been quite good at. I don’t want to do that. I’m not conforming to that.
I don’t want to participate. I don’t want go out and do that with that boy just to be liked. I don’t, I don’t need to do that. So I did have that when I was younger at school.
But yeah, I suppose changing my appearance is quite dramatic and especially so young.
Dawn McGruer
16 is super young.
And I think the thing is, is that what’s been apparent over the past few days is that self love is something that we often put to the bottom of the pile.
And you know, as busy entrepreneurs, I mean, we’ve got some of the most inspiring women with us for the past few days who are making impact, you know, changing lives. But for some reason There is this disconnect, there is this gap of what they feel about themselves because they’re putting other people forward.
What would be your best advice about protecting ourselves and ensuring that self love is a priority in our lives?
Lindsey Kane
I think what’s really apparent when speaking to women and when they have, like, confidence issues, self worth issues, all these different, different things is the common theme that I think is that they put themselves last. And the shift that I’ve made this last year is I put myself first. People might think that’s selfish, not my problem.
I put myself first because when I do, I fill my cup up. Mentally, I’m in a calmer state. I’m not as angry or resentful. I’m composed myself. I do that.
I recharge by being in a bath every night, whether it’s 30 minutes, an hour. I could live in a bath. I’m a mermaid. But I put myself first. And therefore, I’m a better mom, I’m a better wife, you know, a better friend.
Because I’ve got the energy, I’ve got the mental capacity to give. That’s the other thing as well. I never understood how people could give to other people because it’s like, how do people have the time to do that?
How do people have the energy to do that? Now I’m like, oh, it’s because they. I’ve always put everyone else before me and I came last.
Whereas now I’m like, I have much more energy because I’m selective. I don’t. I’m not a yes person anymore. I say no if it doesn’t feel right for me.
And I won’t do anything that doesn’t align with what my values are at the moment. You know, not at the moment, but my values in life. So that’s the thing I would say.
And I see in all these women, and you heard a lot of the women talk like, oh, I put myself last. And I’m like, you’ll give so much more if you just put yourself first. Just start by going, no, I’m gonna. I’m gonna go out today.
I’m not gonna make everyone dinner. I’m gonna tell them to make their own food.
And I’m gonna go and take myself out on a solo date, or I’m gonna go and read for an hour, or I’m gonna go to the spa for the day. And not feeling guilty about that again, it was. We’re drowning in this guilt feeling just because that’s what we see. Society, we’ve always seen it.
So that’s what. That’s what it must be. We must feel guilty. We don’t. We’re putting that label on ourselves.
Dawn McGruer
See, one of the things that, since I’ve met you, that I absolutely love is the fact that you are so open, so down to earth, but so up for connecting and empowering other women.
And so when I said to you, you know, do you want to come to a private island for a few days, speak at my event, come on my podcast, you were like, yeah. And obviously you arrived at 11 o’clock at night in pitch black, where I kindly got in a speed boat and come and collected you.
One of the things that did make me laugh was the size of a suitcase for two days. What was in the suitcase?
Lindsey Kane
Well, this is the problem, as we’ve established. I pack terribly, so I never knew. I need, like, I need, like, winter clothes. I need pajamas and I forgot my slippers in all this.
I’m always in my slippers and I forgot it. Notepads. And you’re gonna really help me with this. I need to get rid of the notepads. I have a notepad for everything.
I don’t need a notepad for everything. I just. Snacks. I’ve got all my snacks, I’ve got all my notebooks, lots of makeup, more makeup than I actually need.
All your creature comforts, face masks that I didn’t even do because I didn’t have time to do it because I was staying up late chatting to all the girls. So I just bring everything that I need and I don’t need half of it.
Dawn McGruer
But it did make me laugh because at one point I was going to check whether you were still alive because you’ve been in the bath for approximately three hours. One of the things that we’re trying to make a shift with is your bath min.
So share with us about what this habit is and why we’re trying to shift you out of it.
Lindsey Kane
I suppose that is so my bad, unhealthy habit that I have, actually, you just reminded me. So my bad, unhealthy habit is. Is when I get in the bath, which I have every night, I should be turning off, I should be going, right?
This is my time to decompress, like, take a few moments, read. But I’m not. I’m doing. I call it bath min. So I’m doing my admin in my bath. So you’ll get, like, voice notes from me. Just, I’m doing this.
I’m in the bath and, like, you can hear me splashing around. I need to sort that out. I’m so good with my phone in the day. Like if I’m with friends or family, I will not be on my phone. I hate my phone.
I actually hate it.
Dawn McGruer
Can you share who you won’t voice note when you’re in the bath? Because this made me laugh.
Lindsey Kane
Well, men really? Because I just thought or they might think, well, why is she sending voice notes in the bath? It’s not really appropriate.
And then because I do have men voice note me or like send me messages and I haven’t got the energy to type, so I’ll just voice note them. And I’m thinking, imagine if they were listening to my voice note while they’re sat next to their wives.
They’re going to be like, why is she voice noting my husband in the bath? It’s like, it’s just where I live. This is the only time I have. I live in the bath. I would, I’d live in the bath if I could.
Dawn McGruer
I’m getting that about you.
Lindsey Kane
It just calms me like that. I think you’ve got to find what makes you calm and run with it.
Dawn McGruer
Absolutely. And I think the thing is, is like in life there’s no right or wrong. There’s just like, you know, if something is feeling good.
I feel that maybe doing the admin at the last point of the day is maybe not the most healthy habit, but things can change.
So if people want to come on this journey, which I encourage everyone to do because honestly, you’ve not even seen the half of what Lindsay’s got to share. She can talk, she has a lot of stories. Where can they follow you? What’s your favorite channel of choice?
And how can they come on this journey of self discovery and fulfillment and fill their cups with self worth?
Lindsey Kane
Instagram is my main thing. So it’s Lindsay Kane 0 at the end. L I n d s e y Kane 0 yeah, give us a follow, send me a DM.
I love responding to people and from new business owners, like, if they’ve not got the knowledge. I love it when people go, oh, what do you think of this? And I’ll go, have you thought about this, this and this? So I love that.
I love connecting people. I’ve realized that. Absolutely love it. I love helping people.
Honestly, it’s getting to the point now where when I’m passionate about something, I don’t shut up. As you can see, I’m like, oh, I’ve got someone that I can help you with.
And you can see people are thinking, why is she Helping me, like, what’s in it for her? I’m like, I haven’t got shares in this company.
Dawn McGruer
We’re not used to it.
Lindsey Kane
Are we being helpful? But I’m like, I have to. I’m there justifying myself. I don’t have shares in this business that I’m trying to link you with.
I’m genuinely just know that they can help you. So. So, yeah, I just really enjoy connecting people to get to them, to their next level.
Dawn McGruer
That’s definitely something that I’m passionate about as well. So if you’re going to leave one lasting memory of the world of Lindsay Kane, which is mad, what would that be?
Lindsey Kane
I think the one for me is the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting results. If you’re. If you’re an autopilot in life and you want to make changes and you’re like, oh, I can’t do that because of this. I can’t do that. You can.
You just not got those people around you at the moment. But that can change. So the only way things will change in your life is when you start to make the change. Really tiny, subtle changes.
Going, go to an event, go networking.
You know, when you go to a networking event where everyone’s wanting to better themselves, you’re like, oh, my God, this is this like real life to people when you’re coming out of people that are sad, or I call it like in a bucket of crap where all the crabs are in the bucket and you’re the one trying to escape and the crabs bring you back down. When you get out of that bucket and there’s a whole world, it’s like, oh, my God, there was never a ceiling there at all. There was never.
I’ve been in a box my whole life, basically. So it’s about to change your life. You have to make a little subtle changes, and then things will start to fall into place.
Dawn McGruer
Amazing. Well, thank you so much. It has been a blast to have you on, and I’m excited to see where you take this movement.
And I know you so passionate about it. And I think one of the things that’s so refreshing is the fact that you will go deep on these topics.
And I think we need to hear them because as women in business, you know, we all kind of present this look and feel on social media that everything is fine. It’s almost like the swan. You know, everyone sees us from the top, but, you know, the feet are kicking underneath.
I think it’s important as a message, and I’m delighted That you’re going to take this on and. And really kind of invite others to have a voice with you.
So on social media, obviously, you’re always replying to people, what can we expect in the next sort of 30 days? What is coming in the world of Lindsay Kane?
Lindsey Kane
I think just leaning into that vulnerability. I think for so long, we are conditioned. That vulnerability is a weakness. And you’ve got to be loud and shout and da, da, da.
I’ve come away from all that now. I don’t. I’m not. I don’t feel the need to prove myself right all the time or say my piece. I’m just like, oh, okay.
Whereas I used to be really like that. Have kickoffs over anything.
Dawn McGruer
Like in the drama.
Lindsey Kane
Yeah, again, it was the drama. I would love to know the psychology with that. Are we getting a dopamine hit or whatever to why we get addicted to that drama? I think there must be something around protection as well, like that we feel we have to protect. So having a voice and sometimes being.
Loud and where I suppose is that it’s being heard where somewhere standing in. Your power and actually not saying is often the louder than actually speaking.
But I think it’s like, don’t tell people too much. Like, why? What are we hiding? Like, I’m just a human being. Everyone else is going through these things. The problem is everyone. Everyone.
Yesterday when we heard the women speaking, I bet if you asked, they would all individually say, it’s just me, because they’ll look at the one next door going, oh, they’re really confident it’s just me that feels like that. No, as we established yesterday, we all have an element of it, so we’re not alone. It’s actually more common to feel like that than it isn’t.
So I think it’s about being kinder to yourself and being vulnerable. There’s nothing wrong with that when you’re around the right people that will embrace that and help you come out of yourself and flourish.
Dawn McGruer
So they’re gonna see you on socials. They’re gonna see your new podcast. What’s the third thing that we’re gonna see for Lindsay then? And the next 30 days?
Lindsey Kane
I suppose just being more unapologetically myself and being vulnerable and just sharing more of my stories. I’ve never really been. I’ve never really shared really personal stories.
If I’m like talking to the camera, it’s all quite generic, you know, mindset, all these kind of things. And I’m like, no, I want to be more specific on why I got to where I am or why I’m doing what I am doing. And, you know, you’ll get people going.
You shouldn’t talk about that. Like, I know I bumped into an ex boyfriend a few years ago and I’d made a comment about him and he was like, you shouldn’t be telling people that.
And I’m like, well, I’m not lying. Like, you are that person. Like, when you are that person, if you don’t want people to say those things about you, then don’t treat people like that. Don’t do the things.
Don’t do the thing. Like, don’t be a dick. You know? So I’m like, well, do you know what? These people have caused me pain. It’s led me to where I am.
It’s probably one of the reasons why I’m an entrepreneur. I’m like, constantly trying to. I’ll show you. So I am. I’m not gonna apologize for that. They shouldn’t have done it. And the bullies.
A friend of mine was like, you know, maybe write a forgiveness letter to them. I’m like, absolutely not. I’m gonna talk about this and I’ll turn it into some form of business to help others. This is not gonna go to waste.
I’m gonna use it to help other people.
Yeah. To inspire. Absolutely no apologizing. Yeah, brilliant. Well, thank you so much.
And if anyone wants to find out more, you can find out more behind the scenes and you can also catch up on, on some of these stories that we didn’t share on the live broadcast on the Patreon page. So thank you very much. Thank you.
Dawn McGruer
Thanks for listening to dawn of a New Era, the podcast brought to you in association with the Her Power Community.
This initiative was founded by myself and it’s all about empowering female founders to recognize their limitless potential and pursue their ambitions with confidence. Now, there is less than 1.8% that goes into investing in female founded businesses and we are here to make positive change.
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