Are You Just Chasing Rainbows?

Welcome to episode 98 of Dawn of a New Era with myself, Dawn McGruer, the Business Growth Coach. And in this episode, episode 98, we're going to be looking at, are you stuck on the hedonic treadmill? Now, you're probably thinking, what on earth is the hedonic treadmill? Well, if we think about hedonism and the hedonistic traits of humans, it's all about the human tendency to pursue one pleasure after another.

And that's because we experience this surge of happiness that's felt after positive events. And what happens then is it's likely then to return to a steady personal baseline. So we all know the feeling that when you hit or achieve an amazing goal, something that you have been daydreaming about, thinking about, it could be anything in your life, home, business, whatever. It could be purchasing a car to succeeding in something, in getting a new job.

Any of these absolute joyous events do bring this absolute amazing feeling to our bodies, to our minds, to our spirits. And we see this a lot in addiction, that when someone experiences a high and then that high disappears. And it dissipates, the feeling goes back down to this kind of very level plateau where it's not exciting, it's not fun, it's almost a bit depressing. We see this a lot in business because we have to think, are we always chasing rainbows?

Are we always seeking that next thing? And do you know what? When I was in my twenties and thirties, I absolutely got caught up in this because where I live, it's a very competitive place. It is super, super focused on what the Joneses have.

And I felt like starting a business was kind of like comparing myself, not just to people in my area, but then when the online universe came about, it was almost like, well, these people are doing bigger and better things than me. The further along in the career, they've achieved huge, huge successes. And I started to kind of think, oh my goodness, I need to get there. And I got stuck on the hedonic treadmill.

I was chasing the next thing. So I would have these epic to-do lists. I was inspiring epic goals that I was focusing, trying to achieve. But what happens was I was just one thing after another.

But the quicker I was achieving it, I was feeling less and less joy. And this was weird because even when I got my publishing contract, you would think this would be the absolute happiest day of my life. And it was the actual contract and having that conversation was, but when my book actually launched, I didn't have that same feeling. And the thing is, is that if we're constantly stuck in this cycle, it's very hard to sustain these moments of joy.

And we have to think about what is happiness to us. We can't rely on being on this treadmill, chasing after these dreams and just ticking our way through them. We have to enjoy the road, the journey to these goals and embrace happiness in a level of day to day so that we can feel more excitement, more joy, more pleasure. And it's not just attached to, right, okay, for the next three weeks I want to work on this and then I'm going to be happy.

And then I'll get off and then I'll be happy for a bit and then I'll be onto the next thing because I need more happiness. This treadmill is really hard and it's very addictive because I had achieved a lot even by 21. By 33, I was mortgage free. I had an amazing house.

I bought my dream house and I had pretty much all of these things that I felt were bringing me joy and happiness. And a lot of it definitely was attached to materialistic. And I was seeking this next level of joy and I was having to push harder and harder. And my dreams and aspirations, yeah, they were getting bigger and better, and that's not a bad thing, but I was really pushing.

And I just kind of got stuck in this point where I wasn't embracing mindfulness and I wasn't in the moment. It was just always pursuing this next goal or objective. And what I want to say here is, is that when I realized I was stuck on this, I started to look at slowing things down. And I stepped off that treadmill and I started to look at what actually brought me joy on a very day-to-day basis.

So if you're ready to get off the treadmill and become happier, then I want you to try these things out. I have got seven tips for you that I think will really bring a different consciousness to how you feel. So the first one is Be sure your life actually includes several pleasures. And we live in this mundane lifestyle, and it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day.

And you might be saying, Dawn, day-to-day life is boring. Well, it kind of is, but there has to be elements of joy, things that bring you pleasure. And you know what? It could just be sitting and having a quiet moment with your feet up, eating a Kit Kat, having a cup of coffee, listening to a podcast, whatever it is.

But embrace these moments, and you build them in, and you have to try and plan them throughout your day. And this is it. So I always like to have five or six in a day, five or six things that I really am excited about because it helps me achieve the mundane. You can't not do the mundane.

You can't not do the things you have to do, but declutter the things you can get rid of. Delegate the things you don't like doing, and then at least you're left with some things that you hopefully quite like doing. Okay, maybe a bit boring and mundane, but keep switching things up. Get your diary looking like it's super exciting.

I look at my diary, and the lightness in my diary makes me joyous. I have one week a month where I don't speak to anyone or do anything because I need it for planning. I need that headspace for the creativity. I couldn't be successful in business, and I certainly couldn't have grown my businesses so quickly to seven figures without having that planning in place.

You have to have joy. So number one, be really clear. Design your day. Design your life, okay?

Get focused in on, like, even one, two, or three things a day that you just really like doing. Laughing brings joy. Do things that make you laugh. Do things that are fun.

Number two, rotate your pleasures so you always feel that something is new. So don't just kind of like go, Right, well, every Wednesday I'm going to do this, this, and this. I have Wellness Wednesday. Wednesday afternoon, I have nothing planned.

I literally just pick something that I want to do. And I'll either plan that in because it's new and exciting, or I just get to that point of space and I go off and do something. I visit someone, meet someone, go off and do something on my own. It can be anything you want.

And this is it. If your life is boring, if you find it mundane, you control your own destiny. You design your own diary. Shift it up.

Make it new. Make it experiential, because experiences are at the heart of everything. And that's what I know feels good to me. It brings me this deep enrichment.

When I'm doing things, it's about what brings me that sense of deep, deep happiness, contentment, and joy, and really feel into that. Because if you're not conscious of what makes you happy and you're just going along with everyone else's life, you're not going to be happy, and you're going to be on this hedonistic treadmill where you are just going from the next thing to the next, the next, and you will not find pleasure in your day to day. And when we think about making your business fun, this brings me on to number three: make time for hobbies. Loads of people say to me, Oh, I love my business so much, it is a hobby.

I know, I feel the same, but I have other things that I like doing. Like I found reformer Pilates this year, and who knew you could do Pilates on the machine? I certainly didn't, and I love it. And you know what I love about it?

The fact that it's not like this one-hour PT session where I come out, I have to wash my hair, blow dry it. Oh my goodness, I feel like done in. I come out, I feel exhilarated. I feel like I've done loads of exercise.

I feel like I'm super toning up, and it's bringing me joy. I actually enjoy doing this as a hobby. And I have loads of other things, like I paint, I love creating things, I love reading, I love writing. And you have to connect with these things because all work and no play makes Jack a very, very dull boy.

Now, what are we going to talk about next? Well, number four. is a biggie because it's about finding time for others. I've been so guilty over the years of like, Oh my goodness, I haven't seen you since like six months, or, Oh, I haven't seen you this year.

Find time for others. This is so important. Just take times in your diary to speak to people, to do things, to really consciously connect with others and be part of a community. When you are part of something and you speak to others, just being surrounded by other people brings me joy.

And this is it. I've built other people into my business that bring me joy. So I have other entrepreneurs and people in the online space that I just WhatsApp, I speak to, I meet up, we have fun days, we build business into it, and I try and do things where it's not always on my own. Because the thing is, is when you are the business owner and you're running a team, you are the person that everyone comes to, and sometimes you need that other kind of like perspective.

Like, what are you doing? Sharing your experiences. Now this brings me on to number five: savor your positive experiences. Savor them.

And this means getting off your phone and just being present in the situation. I am like the world's worst because for someone who works in digital marketing, online marketing and social media, for me, social media, there are certain things that I want to kind of be sharing and doing, and yet I have to be creating content, and I want to be creating content, but I don't play out every single part of my life. I share my authenticity, the good, the bad, the ugly, but I don't want every moment. I want to be in the moment.

So there's a way of being present within the situation to really see what it feels like, and actually just taking that step back and thinking, do I need to have my phone in every experience? Do I need to document everything? No, you don't. I can honestly say to you, I do not document every email I have.

I don't dance on TikTok. I don't do all of these things. But am I running successful businesses? Yes, I am.

Am I getting amazing sales and clients? Yes, I am. So the heart of the matter here is that I want to be part of my life, and I want to be living in it, breathing it in, feeling what it makes me feel. And then this brings me on to number six: to keeping a gratitude journal, to actually documenting things that you engage with.

So it's weird because if you actually consciously think about all of the good things, it naturally brings joy into your body, okay? And it means that you're connecting to the fact that you enjoy them. It makes us more creative. It makes us more aligned to doing more of those things.

So a gratitude journal can just be simple things like waking up every day and just writing down three things that you are super grateful of: your health. Your friends, your family, just what do we love? Sometimes we get caught up in the day-to-day life. We have arguments, we fall out with friends, family, partners, things like that.

Let's just go back to basics and understand we are living, breathing. You're listening to this podcast. You are here with me. What have we got to be joyful of?

Even in hard times, I have sometimes fallen into, like we all have, the victim mode of like, Oh, why is this happening to me? Oh my goodness, this is just disastrous. Oh, life is so bad. Well, it's not.

You have to take that step back. It can be awful. We can have awful situations. I've had devastating situations in my life that at the time feel so insurmountable, but I've always managed to find at least one thing.

One thing during those times that I'm grateful for, although it's hard, you have to find the good. It could be deep down, but there is always good, okay? And number seven, keep an eye on your happiness levels. This is so, so interesting.

Just literally, even using a dot system, like a traffic light system of like red, orange, and green. You know, just putting a dot on your calendar, just really connecting to days or things that make you super happy. I started off just recording it kind of like on a day-to-day, and then I started to record it throughout my day, and I started to identify areas that I was dipping or areas that I was like super in the moment, super joyful, super focused, and in like a really positive outlook. And if you think about growth mindset, having growth mindset, if I'd fall into something, I would look at my happiness level and go, Why am I being such a pessimist?

Why am I being like a doldrum? I would start to think about, Well, do you know what? It's because I've just like sat at my desk for six hours. No wonder I'm not feeling my most positive and creative.

Get out, breathe some sun in, walk the dog, have a coffee, have a break. Remember that life is exciting. So if you feel that you could be happier, make time for whatever you can do to lift your mood, okay, and get in the moment. And it's all about this practicing and savoring these positive experiences and having gratitude, because we don't want to be on the hedonistic treadmill chasing rainbows.

We want to feel glory and joy day to day. So I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Please, please, please remember just to come and, like, connect with me on social media. We are all in this journey together.

And as you know, Instagram has been one of my newer social media channels. Come and join me there. I'm @DawnMcGruer, and come and message me. Let me know you're listening to the podcast on whatever your social media channel is, and just give me some feedback as anything touched you from today's podcast.

What was your biggest takeaway? Come and share that moment. And I look forward to seeing you on the next podcast. And remember, just two more episodes until we hit that hundred milestone.

Thank you for listening to Dawn of a New Era podcast. And for your free checklist to find out how to boost your business for growth, profit, and success, and join our community, go to dawnmcgruer.com.