Unfiltered Confidence: Lindsey Kane on Self-Worth, Entrepreneurship, and Finding Your Voice

Hey, it's Dawn McGruer, the Business Growth Coach, and welcome to Dawn of a New Era, the podcast where we talk all things health, wealth and happiness, and where founders share the good, the bad and ugly of being an entrepreneur. Welcome, Lindsay, to the private island where we are filming the podcast, and this is an exciting new series of Dawn of a New Era, so welcome. So for the audience, can you just share a little bit about, obviously, you and your journey? Now, I know from following you that you're really passionate about self-worth, talking about your journey of self-discovery, and really looking at self-fulfillment and what that looks like, you know, not just as an entrepreneur but in life.

What's your background and what do you do? Well, thank you for having me here. This island's amazing, honestly. It's been so lovely to be with so many other like-minded women, and I think that has been one of the key things, is being around like-minded women who the possibilities are endless.

Two years ago, I had a bit of a thing where I was just so sick of feeling lost, and I couldn't explain what it was. I'd had my daughter, and I was doing different jobs. I'd set up different businesses over a period of years. Some worked, some didn't.

It made a lot of expensive mistakes, and I just kept crying. I think, I suppose, if I'm being brutally honest, and we're going to go straight in, is after my daughter, probably there was a bit of postnatal depression of some kind, but I was like, I'm not a depressed person, so it won't happen to me. But I just couldn't explain the sadness. And then, you know, you've got family and friends that would say, Yeah, but, you know, you've got this or you've got that, or you get to do this or experience this, and it's like none of that external stuff matters.

I can't help how I feel. I'm not, like, in charge of it. I just feel sad. And then sort of two years ago, I started to do therapy and just really self-reflect, and I think I'd never really done that before.

I'd never, in any sort of situation. And look at the common denominator, and if it was me, you know, I would always be like, It can't be me. Like, you're not the problem. Yeah, I'm not the problem, and I wouldn't really be very good at taking feedback.

I would be, you know, I take things as criticism a lot of the time, and I just thought, I'm gonna have to change. Like, I saw the definition of insanity, the Einstein quote, and it really stayed with me, and I thought, My God, yeah, I'm expecting different results, but I'm doing the exact same thing on the daily. So that's when I started to, like, look into personal development stuff. And first of all, I did a really expensive property course.

It was brilliant because a lot of it was based around mindset, and you were with hundreds of people, and they're all wanting a better life. They're all wanting that more, or it was just electric. I was addicted to this environment, and that's been the first thing. And now I do things like this regularly because I think it's so important, especially as an entrepreneur.

It can be quite lonely and isolating, and it's important to have a circle of people around you where you can just, you know, What do you think about this? And am I on the right track? Where it's really open feedback. You're not judging each other.

So, yeah, I've been doing that. I've met some amazing women over the years. I think as well, I've spent all my life thinking that women are competition because I was bullied at school. I was like, Girls are a bit cheesy.

I want to hang out with guys. And I've never, I've really stayed away and kept my distance with other women and not let other women get close to me, and I've had like a couple of friends over the years. And now I'm like, Oh my God, it's actually really powerful when we come together. And that's the kind of new thing that I'm going into that I want to help more of, like the younger generation, that we don't have to be competition.

You just have to be really good at reading people and knowing who's full of shit and who's not. So, you know, when you start reading people, you can see what their intentions are, and if they've got that good, you just feel it. You can feel the energy. So, yeah, I've just got a really amazing group of women around me that, you know, I'm helping them, they're helping me.

And it's really nice, you're getting momentum together, and I think that's one of the most important things and the most important change that I've made in the last couple of years. And I, about two years ago as well, I launched a supplement brand, so it's all about biohacking longevity, how to improve your health span. You know, you don't want to be 100 but sort of die when you're 70. What's the point?

You want to live like a tortoise where they live till they're about 150, and their health is the exact same until like the week before they die, and then a week before they get a bit ill and then they die. That's what I want. I don't want to live that, you know, basically being dead many years before I actually die. And it's about closing that gap and improving the health span.

So the seven ingredients in the formula of Jolt is all evidence-based, scientifically backed, and incredible ingredients that really make changes and it really helps people. It's helping with aches and pains, their energy, libido, like people going through perimenopause. It's giving that boost of free testosterone, which helps them with their energy levels and sleep. And then on top of that, with all our content, we're trying to educate with humour, because my husband's a comedian, so he's involved in the business, and we're trying to educate in the really simple terms because I don't understand all these scientific garbage, like garble, you know, I don't understand it.

I'm like, oh, I get bored, turn off. Whereas my husband, he would like really explain things to me simply. I'm like, most people like me, most people can't be bothered to take millions of different supplements. They can't be bothered to look at all the clinical trials and read all this scientific language.

They just want it really simply explained to them and convenient. So that's where Jolt was born, basically. We launched this product. We thought, should we give it a go?

We'll see if people want it, and launched. Amazing. So I think we're quite aligned on what we believe in terms of, I'm passionate about growth hacking. I talk about health, wealth and happiness on the podcast, and I believe in as much fulfilment in life as possible.

And my keyword is enrichment. I would love to know, how would you describe your business philosophy in three words? What are the three things that stand out for you? Business philosopher, as in Jolt, or just like in my kind of...

Being an entrepreneur, you know, what is important to you? We see a lot of people, obviously, on the online world. What do you stand for? Like, what is your kind of, like, conviction?

What is your kind of, like, these are the things that I have to have when I'm working with people? I think openness, and I think curiosity, and I suppose values, actually. I was speaking to a friend, Katie Leeson, who obviously you know, and she talks a lot about values. And I've only just realised that, I think I was speaking to her recently about actually when I employ someone or take someone on, or a friend or whatever, the first thing that I look for, and I didn't really realise until recently, was the values.

So if I then have to disconnect from those people, I kind of feel, I find it harder for me because the first reason that attracted me to them in the first place was something about their values and it aligning with my values. So I think that would be the three things. I can't remember what I actually said now, but they were the three things. Yeah, but the thing is in business is that, you know, if we're honest, we see all of the curated content on social media.

We see people showing up, presenting these brands, and I would love to know, you know, what is the most interesting piece of criticism that you've ever received that you've learnt from in the entrepreneur world? I think from my husband. I think he, we've been together 12 years, married for 10, and I've watched him... B told no all the time, but then to the outside world, they're like, Oh my God, he's so lucky, he's so this, and I'm like, he misses so many different family occasions, so many friends' birthdays because of work.

And he absolutely loves his work. He loves the challenges. He loves, he just loves everything about comedy and making people laugh. And I've watched him be so open to feedback over the years, and he'll be like, Oh, I don't even, I don't even, it doesn't bother me anymore.

And I'm like, Does it not bother you? And he's like, No, I'll learn from it. So I'll take, even though you might think it's criticism, I'll take the learning from that and then apply it to the next time I go again. So it'll make me better.

It'll make the joke better. It'll make whatever I'm doing better. And I just remember him saying to me, Lindsay, if you're gonna get to that next stage in whatever you do, business, take on feedback. Like, you know, you have to, you have to take on feedback.

Sometimes it's not personal. And then it's learning the difference between the two, whether it's like he'll say to me, Lindsay, when you told that story on that podcast, there's a part that you missed out. This happened and that happened. Like, that would make it punch more.

And I'm like, Oh my God, yes. Like, the next time I say it, I'll do that. And then I've learned now, you know, you can pick up on people's energy if they're aligned with it or if it doesn't resonate, okay, move on. And he sort of taught me that because he's so good at reading a room.

So I think he's been my main teacher, that just be open to feedback. And, you know, if you've got anyone, friends or family, where they're quite critical, it's important to go, That's not feedback. That's just being critical. Like, Oh, you mustn't do this or you mustn't say that because I don't like that.

Well, that's not my problem, isn't it? If you don't like what I'm doing, that's nothing to do with me. And it's having that strength to put that boundary in place. So that's the main thing I would say that's shifted for me.

Yeah, absolutely. And I think the thing is, is that we talk about this a lot about the fact that we are exposed in the online space. You've started multiple businesses and And not all of them are in existence. And, you know, I believe that that is totally the journey.

And what is your...

Feeling about judgment online, you know, we're seeing a huge, huge shift in the way that people are having a voice online, and it's not always positive. There's a lot of trolling that goes on. There's a lot of victimization. How do you deal with when somebody goes onto your socials and is maybe not in the most positive manner talking to you or trying to get you to talk back?

How do you manage it? So over the years, I've, like I say, after being married to someone who has a following, it's, I had really mean things said about my looks, you know, my looks, and I would be like, Oh my God, that's so hurtful. And I remember the first time I, like, cried, and that was, like, years ago. Whereas now I can come at it with empathy and compassion to be like, I actually feel really sorry for them.

To actually put something out when you don't know a person, to actually take the time to search it, be annoyed by it, then make a comment on it, that's really sad, that there's something, their life must be so empty to have time to do that. And what fascinates me is I've got a few friends who have showed me the website Tattle, where they know, where they're like, Can you believe this bullying goes on? And it's shocking to me and fascinating at the same time that these websites exist where they just troll people. And when you actually, if you were to look at some of the threads, it's sad but hilarious at the same time, where these people are getting so annoyed, going, get so triggered.

Oh, who does she think she is? Oh, have you seen what she's posted today? Oh, she looks like this, she looks like that. Oh, she's a rubbish mom.

She's at another event. I'm like, but you don't know, you're not in her house, you're not in her life. How do you know what she's doing? You're just judging them based on what this person puts out online.

She doesn't post the kids all the time. It doesn't mean that she's not with her kids. And I think it's about coming from it like you feel sorry for them, because I don't have time to do that. And also, what's hard as well, it's a lot of women bringing other women down.

I posted a picture recently of me at an awards, and, like, someone made a comment about how much makeup I was wearing, and I shouldn't be wearing that, or I shouldn't be wearing the dress because it was quite revealing, and I'm nearly 40, and I'm a mom, and I shouldn't be doing that. And I'm like, but who made these rules? Like, I don't live in a world now where there's any rules. I make my own rules.

And if, you know, whereas these people living, obviously... There's a ceiling that they live with many rules around them, and I think that's quite sad because they're not, they'll never be happy. I think that's ultimately what it is for me, is that you couldn't possibly be happy if you're putting hatred out, if you're criticizing somebody else. It's because you're deeply unhappy in yourself.

So how have things shifted? So if you think about the fact that you've been an entrepreneur for many years, you've been in business, you've experienced a lot. Now, when we think about health, wealth and happiness, what is this shift, you know, in terms of what we believed maybe from how we were brought up to what you truly believe and live for now? I think that actually everything we're ever taught is only what our parents were taught or who we surround ourselves, what they've been taught.

And, you know, I've had a chat with a few girls this weekend about you wouldn't get annoyed with, say, your partner if they can't speak French. Why don't you speak French? It's so annoying. I cannot believe you don't speak French.

Well, we can't be annoyed with somebody if they've never been taught that. So again, if someone, and what I've learned is as well, if we're upset by something or triggered by something, it's not necessarily the person who said it to us. We're the one that's putting meaning behind what they've said or the word. They might have no clue that it's offended us.

And I think it's, again, it's like learning when someone says something that triggers us, personally trying to figure out where it's stemmed from. This last two years, and it's really helped me, is when I can see where, when I can pinpoint where something's come from, like where my trigger is, where that seed was sown, I can cut the ties. Like I'm realizing where my self-worth issues have come from. And because I'm like, I was really confident when I was younger, and I'm confident now, and I had a lovely childhood.

So where has it stemmed from? I don't understand. You know, you hear a lot of all these childhood traumas, but I'm like, I didn't have all that, so where's it come from for me? And going through, like, therapy, I realized, well, I was bullied by many girls at school, really awful, horrible, that would just chip away my appearance.

And I had a nose job at 16 because of it. Like, my background was Ukraine and Italy, Italian, so I had a nose that reflected that, and they just were really awful to me. And I often wonder, actually, do they even know the impact that they had on me? Because they ruined my life.

Like, they ruined school for many years. It affected my confidence. Then when I started going out and I started getting boyfriends, I felt like privileged that these boys would, like, take an interest in me because I had such low self-worth, because I'm like, Oh, well, I'm ugly, I'm this, I'm that. I know it surprises a lot of people because they're like, I had no idea you felt like that.

I was like, This is honestly how I felt inside. This was all a front. And then all the boyfriends, when I look back, they've all cheated on me. So every boyfriend that I've gone with, I'm like, Oh God, I'm so lucky to get the crumbs from him.

And now I'm like, Oh my God, when these guys went off and cheated on me and I took it personally, it was never actually about me. It was about them and their upbringing. They were brought up in families where their parents cheated and the other parents stayed and accepted it and tolerated it. And then that's a lesson that they've been taught.

Well, you know, someone cheats and the other person stays, and you just accept it, and that's how it is. So you can see generational, like, patterns just forming all the time. I've only recently just learned that actually now I need to detach that, and I have realized that my self-worth has been based on who I was with. You know, Oh, I'm with him, so he's chosen to be with me, therefore I'm worthy.

No, I need to find it within myself, and that's what I've done recently. Well, there's probably nobody listening to this podcast who hasn't experienced at some point in their life some sort of self-worth validation or attachment where they see that maybe the job they have or the money they earn is them. You know, that is their success. And we put a lot of pressure on ourselves, and we are not that thing.

You know, having money doesn't make us valid. You know, we put all of— All of these attachments to things. What's your feeling about the fact that, you know, we are very focused, unfortunately, on societal goals? There's something that feels that they, you know, they're pressured around us as we're growing up, day to day.

As entrepreneurs and business owners, we get to choose to add these amazing layers of more meaningful goals around fulfillment and freedom and fun. What's your message if someone is starting a business right now? What would you say to them in terms of not falling into the trap of attaching value to the wrong things and establishing the right powerful goals that are going to make them, you know, healthy and wealthy and happy? So I've been really reflecting about this recently, and so I'm about to launch my podcast called Bedtime Theories, and it is all about this.

It's how we live in this fast-paced world, especially on social media, where it's all blue ticks, likes, you know, views, and we're obsessed and we're consuming all this kind of just fast-paced, like, craziness, and it's not good for our brains. And then you see all these younger ones—God, I sound so old now—but, like, you see all these younger ones, and they're living this life. They're in these posh cars, they're going to all these amazing, expensive holiday destinations, going at the most expensive restaurants, wearing all these clothes and bags and all these... There's so many people watching that going, How the hell, you know, how are they doing it?

And then because they can't do that or they don't feel like they can do it, that impact, Oh, I'm not good enough because I've not got that bag or I've not got those shoes. And I've got an eight-year-old daughter, and I just think I, as a parent, I have a duty of care to her to, like, you don't need all this. Yes, it's nice to have those things. It's nice to have bags if that's what you like, shoes, cars, houses, holidays.

I love to go travel and experience those things. It doesn't necessarily have to be really posh stuff. I love doing, like, camping as well with the family. It's more about the experiences for me.

And yes, I have a nice bag or whatever, but I don't buy it to fill a hole. And I see people that, especially in the kind of different industries, where those things, those bags, that means something to them, that is a part of them. You know, they're putting the value on that I'm somebody because I've got this bag or I'm somebody because I've got this car. If that all went away tomorrow, I've got a great foundation with my husband and my family that I'll be fine.

The way I look at it is, oh, aren't I lucky that I get to experience this? I get to appreciate the fabric on this bag and the stitching, and I get to appreciate these different things. So I'm always full of gratitude with them. I think that's really important, is gratitude.

And also, what are you doing it for? Like, see, when I was younger, I would try and get, you know, I'd save up for this bag or whatever. And I'm like, why did I? I'm annoyed at myself.

Why did I do that? I don't even like those people now that I, you know, used to hang around with. Like, why did I feel the need to try and fit in? And now I'm like, I will not fit into any pigeonhole that someone tries and puts me in.

If you like me, you like me, and if you don't, that's not my problem. And it's just really important to try and understand what you're doing it for. So if you are doing it for, like, why, then that means that you need validation in some way. Where's that missing piece of validation?

And just speaking to a lot of the women this weekend, it's become quite apparent that a lot of... A lot of people have, like, mummy and daddy issues, and not even intentional. It's not like these parents...

Doing it to hurt or to do it with any malice. Again, it comes back to they weren't taught to show emotion or to express feelings. And I think as well, we've got so much more knowledge now with the psychology of children, and when you do certain things, actually when they get older, it's going to have an impact. They didn't know it back then.

They weren't doing it on purpose. They thought, Oh, I'm doing it to build them up, make them strong. So I think it's about learning where it comes from, and if it's not done with malice, then you have to forgive, like your parents. But I do think, listening to a lot of people, I would love to speak to a psychologist about this to understand more, is if our parents haven't given us that, is that why we're seeking it from elsewhere?

But I think, again, for me personally, I can only speak from my experience. When you can find the root cause of something, you can cut ties from it. And then honestly, it's been like the most freeing thing. So I'm like, Well, it doesn't bother me now.

I choose not to allow that to bother me. So when you think about societal pressures, there's a lot of pressure to conform in society, in business. What is your view in terms of the fact that things like cosmetic surgery feel very much like common day? There's something that is accepted, you know, maybe 10 years ago it wasn't as popular, but there are so many people who feel the pressure to look and present themselves in a certain way.

What do you think about where we're heading with that? It really scares me, actually, especially having a daughter, especially having filters. I'm really anti-filters. Like, I hate them.

I think it's really effing up our next generation. And also, like, as a young girl especially, they all look up to their mums and think that their mum's the most amazing thing. They think they're beautiful. So if you're...

I see it with people I know that have got young kids, and the mums are beautiful, but the mums are using filters, and then the kids are getting photographs that the filter's going on them as well. So I think subconsciously what's going to happen is, and I don't think we're aware of it, is... is when that girl gets a little bit older, she'll be like, Well, I need filters because my mum had filters. So I think my mum's beautiful and she's still using filters, so therefore I need filters.

So I think it's everything that I try and do now, everything I do and everything I say, like, why am I saying it? I think a lot of people say shit, but they don't actually have meaning behind it. They don't really understand why they're saying the words. So I'm trying to slow down, and I'm trying to, whatever I'm trying to articulate, I want it to have meaning.

I want it to have an impact. I don't just want to say something because it's trending or someone else has said it. Or I think that's the other thing as well, like over the years with experimenting with content, and I'm trying to find my feet and I'm trying to work out my content pillars and do all this and discover what my following likes, what I like. And I feel like I've been quite generic with some of the stuff to sort of dip my toe in, test it, you know, I don't want to be judged too much.

Now I'm like, Oh, I know what I'm passionate about. And when I've been vulnerable and expressed that, that's when I've had more engagement and more messages and DMs and compliments based on how I've made someone feel, because I'm being more mindful about what I'm actually talking about. I'm not just copying what everyone else is doing. And that's the mistake I've made in other businesses.

If I've had a vision and it's not worked and another business has come along, I've gone, Oh, I need to pivot and copy them because I'm not doing it right. It's like, no, I've lost focus of why I started in the first place. So it always comes back to why are you doing it? What's the purpose for it?

What's your goal? And if you can't answer it, then what are you doing it for? It's just a waste of time. So you're using your social media as your voice, like a social movement, like a movement towards, like, joining you on this journey of self-discovery, which is fascinating.

But what is the biggest challenge in business? Because it's not all sunshine and rainbows, and sometimes, like day to day, there's one hell of a fuck-up that goes on. What do we feel right now is hard in business? So I've had a really lovely launch period over this last...

Last 18 months, I've got a really amazing team. It's the first time in business where I've got other people involved in it. So there's me, my husband, and my husband's best friends were the three people who started Jolt, and we work really well because we all have what each other needs. Whereas in other businesses, I've just, I don't ask for help.

I have my head in the laptop. I don't like networking. I don't want to speak to people. I just want to work from my laptop.

That will never work. And I see a lot of new startups doing it. I see a lot of new startups trying to do everything from the packaging, social media, customer emails, everything, and no one is superwoman. Don't believe what it is on social media.

Try and delegate as much as possible. What you think it might cost might not actually be as expensive, but what that allows you to do in your time, what that frees you up, will be the most impact for you. So even if it costs you like an extra sort of 50 quid for the day to get someone to package it, what can you do? What's your time worth?

And I think it's trying to understand what your time's worth instead of trying to do everything and be everything to everyone. The thing that I struggle in business is when it's something I can't control, and that's everything. But I suppose it's the challenges. Like we've launched in a new territory, we've launched in a new country.

We've never done that before, so the process took a lot longer than we anticipated. You know, the contracts, actually getting the product and the stock out there, the testing that's required. You know, everything's third-party tested. Our ingredients are pure.

A lot of people are buying from companies where they have no idea where the product's from, the ingredients, and so it was a long process, so that took a lot longer. But, you know, you've just got to, it will happen. So I don't really get stressed about stuff like that because that's what's going to happen. It's more shocking if it doesn't happen.

But you've just got to roll with it and ride the wave and find someone that can help you execute it as quickly as possible. So one thing that I think is fascinating is that when you meet someone in real life, you get a real flavor of the personality, and you are funny. So you always have loads of stories to tell. And if you were to share one story, what would be, like, the most embarrassing story to share with our listeners?

I mean, it's going to sound really wanky now for, like, name drop. I mean, Russell, my husband, has a whole, like, stand-up tour on them. There's many things. I always make a fool of myself.

Do you know, funnily enough, it was because I don't really drink that much anymore, but I did have—I would, when I was going to an event, I would have like a glass of liquid confidence. I would have to have a couple of drinks before I go into somewhere. And the most kind of iconic one in my husband's words is we went to—we got invited to a Princess Trust event, and Prince Charles at the time was having a summer garden party. And I hadn't—I always—I'm terrible at packing.

Like, I always pack the wrong things. Like I'll pack summer stuff when it's raining and winter stuff when it's sunny. And it was the hottest day in London in like years, and I'd taken the wrong outfit. I'd taken like a nice suit, like I thought I'm going to be this big boss-like suit woman.

Oh my God, it was horrific. It was too hot. I was just sweating. So I had to get like a T-shirt dress, which was not appropriate for the occasion, but I thought I'm going to be cool.

So at least, as in cool temperature, not cool as in I look cool. Went to the garden party after my liquid confidence. I had a couple on the way in, and the rules were like, you know, you've got to sort of wait to be spoken to. You're all in your circles, and he'll come to you.

Just, you know, have a chat, see how it goes. I'm like shaking. Oh my God, I'm meeting royalty. I'm not worthy.

You know, that's where that comes into it. And then we go around the circle. He comes to me and my husband. You know, I'm chatting, getting involved, and off he went.

And my husband was like, Well, great. We didn't fuck up. Well done. And then I said, I'm just going to go and grab my bag and my drink.

So I was like, I'll put it in a bush somewhere. So I went to grab my champagne and my bag, and then the crowds were gathering, so I was like, Oh, excuse me, excuse me. Oh, excuse me, babe. And like, move—I don't even say the word babe.

I don't even know where that came from. And I said, Excuse me, babe, move someone out the way. Got grabbed my bag, turned back, and everyone was like that. I was like, What was happening?

What's happening? I couldn't understand what had happened, and I'd basically grabbed Prince Charles by the love handle and physically moved him out of my way. And it was just the most horrific moment. Like, the security was alert, you know, and apparently he was fine about it.

He's got a good sense of humour, apparently. But I also did another thing. I don't know whether I should say this, but the Princess Trust, like, Russell was like, I'm really sorry that Lindsay did that, because obviously it went around the group, and Russell forwarded me the response. Well, I thought he forwarded me, but he just replied and copied me in.

So I actually responded to that email, and I did swear. I was like, Oh, thank— because he said, I'm really sorry about this. You know, hopefully we won't get banned from any occasions ever again. And they responded going, Oh yeah, no, it'll be funny.

He's fine about it. So I responded to that email going, Oh, thank F they've not, you know, I've not been cut out. But I responded to everyone at the Princess Trust. So Russell was phoning me going, Lindsay, what are you doing?

Like, you're just ruining it for me. Like, we laugh about it now, but that's probably one of the most embarrassing things. Yeah. So, oh my goodness, I'm in tears.

So if you think about your business journey and you think about the highs, what has been, like, the funniest thing that you've done in business? I think finding myself. I think actually doing the stuff that I've always wanted to do. I'm really proud of myself, and I think as a society we're taught we can't self-promote.

We shouldn't sort of give ourselves a pat on the back. And why? Like, Americans are so good at that, and I think there's nothing wrong with it. And I think if you've got people around you sort of saying, Oh, you shouldn't do that, or, You sound big-headed, well, that's just their limitations and how they feel about themselves.

I just think— There's so many people that want to do things and want to change their lives, but don't know where to start and just don't.

They're like, they're able to, or they've got the capabilities to do it. You know, you hear a lot of people coming from, like a friend of mine who came from like a council estate was like, Oh, we can't do that. It's not, we don't do that where we're from. And it's like, but that's, you're not where you grew up.

Like, you can change that. And I think it's learning that you do have the power to change. And we're just, especially women, like we are really powerful. We give life, like we have a portal for life.

Like, we're so powerful, yet we don't act like we are, and we are. So when other women come to force, like come into force together, like we're unstoppable. And that's what I love. So what's one thing that you believe or you're passionate about in entrepreneurship that others don't, that like is the complete, you know, juxtaposition to what society or people think?

Again, it comes back to what you're doing and why you're doing it. I think, again, recently this year, I'm like— What do I like? And do I like it, or is it because I've been told that this is what I should do, shouldn't do by school, by ex-boyfriends, all these different things? And it's just learning who I am as a person and going, no, I actually don't like that, so I'm going to say no.

Like, no is my favorite word now. If I don't like something, then I won't do it. There's a group of friends that we're in, and there's a friend of a friend, and they were like, Oh, do you want to chip in to buy some flowers for her? And I'm thinking, well, I don't like that person.

I don't like her values. I don't like all the sly digs. And I just said, No, I don't want to contribute. They were like, Why?

And I said, Because I just don't. I'm like, I don't have to give reasons. I don't have to justify myself. And you hear so many, especially women, justifying why they're doing everything that they're doing.

You don't have to. If it makes sense to you, that's good. You're not hurting anyone. You've got good values.

You don't need to justify yourself. You need to stop that. And have you ever had a situation where someone has made a judgment about you that you have struggled with, or had a situation where you've met somebody maybe from the past that's triggered you? I get it quite a lot where, because I was in property, so I sold my first business and a car to fund my first property.

But when I started posting about it, because I was looking at working with angel investors to fund my future investments, so I started posting about what I was doing, you'll get people going, Oh, you're showing off. It's like, no, I'm not showing off. It's a business. I'm trying to give someone a return on their money.

If I don't put myself out there, how am I going to get business? Like, it's ridiculous. And then people would go, Oh, what are you talking about? Like, your husband's bought you that.

And I'm like, I did that. I want a bit of, you know, now I'm like, Oh, I don't need that validation now because I know the truth. My husband, everyone else that matters knows the truth, so I don't need to try and convert everybody else. But I still get that.

I still get people saying, Oh, you've only got that because of your husband. That's what they want to believe, and that makes them feel better. It makes no difference to me. And I remember I trained for a year or a couple of years to do makeup.

I got a makeup job. I worked, did really well. I kept getting rebooked on this particular job, and a producer came in and introduced me as somebody like, Oh, this is such a person's wife. And I'm like, Oh, my name is Lindsay, and I'm here to do makeup.

It's nothing to do with my husband. So I think for a long time, nothing my husband was doing, because he's really supportive, it was how I felt about myself that I felt I had to justify or show people and prove people that, no, it is me, but I don't. It's just a waste of energy doing that when you're trying to convince people you're right or they're wrong. It's a waste of energy.

That's one of the massive changes that I've made in the last couple of years. I've removed myself from gossip, removed myself from drama. It is a choice. I've actually learned this.

You can participate in drama, and you don't have to. You have a choice. So I would evaluate your surroundings and do a life audit. Who drains you?

Who makes you feel good? And put boundaries where it's necessary. Yeah, it's about being unapologetic, right? So people love, and I'm always fascinated with this because I talk a lot about, obviously, health hacks, wealth hacks, you know, about my passion for buying gold on a Friday, but also about experiences and enrichment.

What are the top health hacks that you do day to day that just keeps you happy, healthy, and wealthy? Like I say, I've got a longevity business, and yes, I sell a supplement, but actually the other thing that we're passionate about is if you can't afford a supplement, what other things that can you be doing in life to help improve your own health span that will impact your longevity? So stress, you know, stress is a big thing. Sleep, you know, movement.

Are you moving? Have you got a form of exercise that you like? I hate doing HIIT exercises. I hate doing cardio, and I spent years trying to compete with the others.

Well, they're doing that. They're getting up at 5 a.m. I need to do that.

No, we just need to find what works for you. Everyone's different. So I love form of Pilates. That's my thing.

I love barre, so I do those things. And I think it's about being kind to yourself, like not giving yourself such a hard time. Again, you hear a lot of women when you're in groups of women, like we have been, you hear there's so much guilt. Women feel guilt a lot, and like, where did those feelings come from?

People making you feel guilty, they putting all this guilt on your shoulders. Like I say, the life audit is a biohack in itself. If you're surrounded by people that bring you down, that make you feel shit, that criticize you, it has an impact on how you feel about yourself, which will have an impact on your longevity and your overall happiness. If you're surrounded with like-minded people, women that are going to lift you, I don't know about you, but I feel a bit like, God, like this after this weekend, I feel like I can do anything because my cup's filled.

You've been around those women and everything's a possibility. Nothing's impossible. Nothing's, like, out of reach. It's just like, oh, well, how do we get there?

And I like being around people like that, and I think that's a biohack that we don't talk about. But ultimately, it comes from within. Like I said to you that I discuss on my podcast, it's not the bags, it's not this, it's from within. It's finding it within and not finding it from anybody else, not needing it from anything else.

Everything we have is inside of us. And it's funny, like I was speaking the other day about journaling and the importance of it. Even though I don't do it religiously, it's really helped in moments where I've doubted myself. And a friend of mine found a journal from a few years ago, and she was like, I've made bad choices in relationships.

My inner voice obviously doesn't work because I've not seen the red flags. Then fast forward a few years, she's gone back to these journals and it's all red flags. She was just choosing to ignore it, and that comes back to a self-worth issue with her. And the same with me, you know, when you look back at journals, I bloody knew the whole time that they were cheating.

Why did I stay there? I knew it. I was writing it down at the time. I just didn't follow my own voice.

So it's about tapping into that. And like, I'm teaching my child, if she goes, Oh, I don't like that person, I'm like, Well, listen to it. That's really important. And in a situation, I will say to her, How do you feel?

And if she goes, Oh, I don't know, but I don't like it, or I feel a bit funny, I'm like, You have to listen to your voice. Always listen to it. And again, teaching her to listen to her feelings, that her thoughts are valid, her feelings are valid, you know? So I think it's really important to instill that into children.

So growing up, one of the things we've been talking about for the past few days, I mean, we've talked about a lot, is obviously connection, trusting your gut, but also some of the unhealthy habits that we've had. And I remember growing up, like the Kate Moss era, and literally everyone was drinking Diet Coke, living on Marlboro Lights, and, you know, if you were eating, you were having an apple. I mean, that is pretty extreme. But I remember the, you know, the pressure of weight and eating was such a big one.

What is the most extreme thing that you've fallen into that you regret, that was an unhealthy habit around health? I don't think I have, actually, because when I was at school, like I say, I got bullied at school anyway. So I suppose, like, the most extreme thing was when I reflect, I'm like, actually, that's quite messed up to have. I basically had a nose job at 16.

I left school, and the idea was people will forget about my face, really. You know, you grow up in that time when, from school to college, in that six weeks. So I had a nose job. I remember that I was really young to do that, and actually looking back, it was quite messed up that I changed not only my appearance because of something that someone said, but also that's my heritage and, like, my background, like a part of my family and where I've come from, and that stories are raised because of those girls.

That's the most extreme thing I've done. I have never done anything since then, but I've also seen, like, the effects of, like, eating disorders and things like that, and it's actually quite shocking just, you know, where it starts and the little comments, Oh, you little chubby old fat, and I'm really, like, honestly, I'm passionate about bullying as well. Like, it's the impact that the kids can have. And this was 20 years ago that I had—well, 20, oh my God, 21 years ago this year—that I had my nose job.

What is it going to look like now when my daughter's got social media to contend with, all these awful, you know? It does scare me. But my family are very good, like my mum and dad were always just like, You don't need to do those things. You know, you don't need to do those things to fit in, and I always felt comfortable.

So when I had a group of friends that were going off getting drunk in the park and, you know, losing their virginity really young, I never did that. I just wanted to stay at home. I didn't want to participate in it. So I've always been quite good at, I don't want to do that.

I'm not conforming to that. I don't want to participate. I don't want to go out and do that with that boy just to be liked. I don't need to do that.

So I did have that when I was younger at school. But yeah, I suppose changing my appearance is quite dramatic, and especially so young. Sixteen is super young. And I think the thing is, is that what's been apparent over the past few days is—

Is that self-love is something that we often put to the bottom of the pile. And, you know, as busy entrepreneurs, I mean, we've got some of the most inspiring women with us for the past few days who are making impact, you know, changing lives. But for some reason, there is this disconnect, there is this gap of what they feel about themselves because they're putting other people forward. What would be your best advice about protecting ourselves and ensuring that self-love is a priority in our lives?

I think what's really apparent when speaking to women, and when they have, like, confidence issues, self-worth issues, all these different things, is the common theme that I think is that they put themselves last. And the shift that I've made this last year is I put myself first. People might think that's selfish, not my problem. I put myself first because when I do, I feel my cup up mentally.

I'm in a calmer state. I'm not as angry or resentful. I'm composed myself. I do that.

I recharge by being in a bath every night, whether it's 30 minutes, an hour. I could live in a bath. I'm a mermaid. But I put myself first, and therefore I'm a better mom.

I'm a better wife. You know, I'm a better friend because I've got the energy, I've got the mental capacity to give. That's the other thing as well. I never understood how people could give to other people because it's like, how do people have the time to do that?

How do people have the energy to do that? Now I'm like, oh, it's because I've always put everyone else before me, and I came last, whereas now I'm like, I have much more energy because I'm selective. I'm not a yes person anymore. I say no if it doesn't feel right for me, and I won't do anything that doesn't align with what my values are at the moment, you know, not at the moment, but my values in life.

That's the thing I would say, and I see in all these women. And you heard a lot of the women talk like, Oh, I put myself last, and I'm like, you'll give so much more if you just put yourself first. Just start by going, No, I'm gonna go out today. I'm not gonna make everyone dinner.

I'm gonna tell them to make their own food. I'm gonna go and take myself out on a solo date, or I'm gonna go and read for an hour. I'm gonna go to the spa for the day and not feeling guilty about that. Again, we're drowning in this guilt feeling just because that's what we see in society.

We've always seen it, so that's what it must be. We must feel guilty. We don't. We're putting that label on ourselves.

So one of the things that, since I've met you, that I absolutely love is the fact that you are so open, so down to earth, but so up for connecting and empowering other women. And so when I said to you, you know, do you want to come to a private island for a few days, speak at my event, come on my podcast, you were like, Yeah. And obviously you arrived at 11 o'clock at night in pitch black, where I kindly got in a speedboat and come and collected you. One of the things that did make me laugh was the size of the suitcase for two days.

What was in the suitcase? Well, this is the problem. As we've established, I pack terribly, so I never knew. I need, like, winter clothes.

I need pyjamas, and I forgot my slippers in all this. I'm always in my slippers and I forgot it. Notepads, and you're gonna really help me with this. I need to get rid of the notepads.

I have a notepad for everything. I don't need a notepad for everything. I just snacks. I've got all my snacks.

I've got all my notebooks. Lots of makeup, more makeup than I actually need. All your creature comforts. Face masks that I didn't even do because I didn't have time to do it because I was staying up late chatting to all the girls.

So I just bring everything that I need, and I don't need half of it. But it did make me laugh because at one point I was going to check whether you were still alive because you've been in the bath for approximately three hours. One of the things that we're trying to make a shift with is your bathmin. So share with us about what this habit is and— Why we're trying to shift you out of it.

I suppose that is, so my bad unhealthy habit that I have actually, you just reminded me. So my bad unhealthy habit is when I get in the bath, which I have every night, I should be turning off. I should be going, right, this is my time to decompress, like take a few moments, read. But I'm not.

I'm doing, I call it bathmins. I'm doing my admin in my bath. So you'll get like voice notes from me, just, I'm doing this, I'm in the bath, and like you can hear me splashing around. I need to sort that out.

I'm so good with my phone in the day. Like if I'm with friends or family, I will not be on my phone. I hate my phone. I actually hate it.

Can you share who you won't voice note when you're in the bath? Because this made me laugh. Well, men really, because I just thought they might think, well, why is she sending voice notes in the bath? It's not really appropriate.

And then, because I do have men voice note me or like send me messages, and I'm like, I haven't got the energy to type, so I'll just voice note them. And I'm thinking, imagine if they were listening to my voice note while they're sat next to the wives, they're going to be like, why is she voice noting my husband in the bath? It's like, it's just where I live. This is the only time I have.

I live in the bath. I would, I'd live in the bath if I could. I'm getting that about you. It just calms me like that.

I think you've got to find what makes you calm and run with it. Absolutely. And I think the thing is, is like in life, there's no right or wrong. There's just like, you know, if something is feeling good.

I feel that maybe doing the admin at the last point of the day is maybe not the most healthy habit, but things can change. So if people want to come on this journey, which I encourage everyone to do, because honestly, you've not even seen the half of what Lindsay's got to share. She can talk. She has a lot of stories.

Where can they follow you? What's your favorite channel of choice? And how can they come on this journey of self-discovery and fulfillment and fill their cups with self-worth? Instagram is my main thing.

So it's Lindsay Kane zero at the end, L-I-N-D-S-E-Y Kane zero. Yeah, give us a follow, send me a DM. I love responding to people. And from new business owners, like if they've not got the knowledge, I love it when people go, Oh, what do you think of this?

And I'll go, have you... Have you thought about this, this and this? So I love that. I love connecting people.

I've realised that. I absolutely love it. I love helping people. Honestly, it's getting to the point now where when I'm passionate about something, I don't shut up, as you can see.

I'm like, Oh, I've got someone that I can help you with. And you can see people are thinking, Why is she helping me? Like, what's in it for her? I'm like, I haven't got shares in this company.

We're not used to it, are we? Being helpful. But I'm like, I have to. I'm there justifying myself.

I don't have shares in this business that I'm trying to link you with. I genuinely just know that they can help you. So, yeah, I just really enjoy connecting people to get to their next level. That's definitely something that I'm passionate about as well.

So if you're going to leave one lasting memory of the world of Lindsay Kane, which is mad, what would that be? I think the one for me is the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting results. If you're on autopilot in life and you want to make changes and you're like, Oh, I can't do that because of this, I can't do that, you can. You've just not got those people around you at the moment, but that can change.

So the only way things will change in your life is when you start to make the change, really tiny, subtle changes. Go to an event, go networking. You know, when you go to a networking event where everyone's wanting to better themselves, you're like, Oh my God, is this like real life? When you're coming out of people that are sad, or I call it like in a bucket of crabs, where all the crabs are in the bucket and you're the one trying to escape and the crabs bring you back down.

When you get out of that bucket and there's a whole world, it's like, Oh my God, there was never a ceiling there at all. There was never— I've been in a box my whole life, basically. So it's about, to change your life, you have to make little subtle changes, and then things will start to fall into place. Amazing.

Well, thank you so much. It has been a blast to have you on, and I'm excited to see where you take this movement. And I know you're so passionate about it, and I— And I think one of the things that's so refreshing is the fact that you will go deep on these topics, and I think we need to hear them because as women in business, you know, we all kind of present this look and feel on social media that everything is fine. It's almost like the swan.

You know, everyone sees us from the top, but, you know, the feet are kicking underneath. I think it's important as a message, and I'm delighted that you're going to take this on and really kind of invite others to have a voice with you. So on social media, obviously you're always replying to people. What can we expect in the next sort of 30 days?

What is coming in the world of Lindsay Kane? I think just leaning into that vulnerability. I think for so long we are conditioned that vulnerability is a weakness, and you've got to be loud and shout and da-da-da. I've come away from all that now.

I don't feel the need to prove myself right all the time or say my piece. I'm just like, oh, okay. Whereas I used to be really like that, have kick-offs over anything, like in the drama. Yeah, again, it was the drama.

I'd love to know the psychology with that. Are we getting a dopamine hit or whatever to why we get addicted to that drama? I think there must be something around protection as well, like that we feel we have to protect. Yeah.

So having a voice and sometimes being loud. Being heard, I suppose. Is that being heard? Whereas somewhere standing in your power and actually not saying is often the louder than actually speaking.

But I think it's like, don't tell people too much. Like, why? What are we hiding? Like, I'm just a human being.

Everyone else is going through these things. The problem is everyone, everyone yesterday when we heard the women speaking, I bet if you asked, they would all individually say, It's just me, because they'll look at the one next door going, Oh, they're really confident. It's just me that feels like that. No, as we established yesterday, we all have an element of it, so we're not alone.

It's actually more common to feel like that than it isn't. So I think it's about being kinder to yourself and being vulnerable. There's nothing wrong with that. When you're around the right people that will embrace that and help you come out of yourself.

So they’re going to see you on socials, they’re going to see your new podcast. What’s the third thing that we’re going to see for Lindsay then in the next 30 days? I suppose just being more unapologetically myself and being vulnerable and just sharing more of my stories. I’ve never really been—I’ve never really shared really personal stories.

If I’m, like, talking to the camera, it’s all quite generic, you know, mindset, all these kind of things. And I’m like, no, I want to be more specific on why I got to where I am or why I’m doing what I am doing. And, you know, you’ll get people going, ‘You shouldn’t talk about that.’ Like, I know I bumped into an ex-boyfriend a few years ago and I’d made a comment about him, and he was like, ‘You shouldn’t be telling people that.’

And I’m like, well, I’m not lying. Like, you are that person. Like, when you are that person, if you don’t want people to say those things about you, then don’t treat people like that. Don’t do the thing.

Don’t do the thing. Like, don’t be a dick, you know? So I’m like, well, do you know what? These people have caused me pain.

It’s led me to where I am. It’s probably one of the reasons why I’m an entrepreneur. I’m, like, constantly trying to—I’ll show you. So I am.

I’m not going to apologise for that. They shouldn’t have done it. And the bullies, a friend of mine was like, ‘You know, maybe write a forgiveness letter to them.’ I’m like, absolutely not.

I’m going to talk about this, and I’ll turn it into some form of business to help others. This is not going to go to waste. I’m going to use it to help other people. Yeah, to inspire.

Absolutely. No apologising. Yeah. Brilliant.

Well, thank you so much. And if anyone wants to find out more, you can find out more behind the scenes, and you can also catch up on some of the stories that we didn’t share on the live broadcast on the Patreon page. So thank you very much. Thank you for having me.

Thanks for listening to Dawn of a New Era, the podcast brought to you in association with the Her Power Community. This initiative was founded by myself, and it’s all about empowering female founders to recognise their limitless potential and pursue their ambitions with confidence. Now, there is less than 1.8% that goes into investing in female-founded businesses, and we are here to make positive change.

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