4 Ways How To Spot Narcissists In Business

Welcome to episode 126 of Dawn of a New Era with myself, Dawn McGruer, the business growth coach. And in this episode, we're going to be looking at quite a deep topic, one that maybe is not discussed enough in business, but one that is so important because the foundation of everything we do in life and in business is always the same thing. It's about relationships. It's about trusting and moving forward with the absolute knowledge that you've got the best people, people who've got your back in business.

And I speak to so many business owners, so many entrepreneurs at different stages, and they have been so badly burnt by people in business. I often see more of this trauma than I see of people challenged over finances or looking to attract more clients. The conversations that are happening tend to be about people, and it could be people in their peer groups, people in audiences on social media, people who are judging, commenting, trolling. We're seeing all of it.

And one of the things I really want to bring to the attention and to the forefront of conversation is spotting narcissists in a business setting, because it can be really challenging. Now, here are four ways or signs that you can look out for, because this is really something that comes from the gut. And when I know when I meet people, I always trust my gut. And the reason for it is that I get a feeling, and we all know what it's like when we meet somebody.

But I have had my fingers burnt before. I've met people who have been so absolutely divine in that first meet, only to be let down. Now, these four ways, obviously there are hundreds of different traits that we see, but these are the four that I see a lot, and I see people being treated so badly. Quite often, the person who's doing it is so unaware of what they're doing.

Now, the first one is an extreme self-centeredness. So narcissists often display a really exaggerated sense of self-importance, and they believe they are superior to others. We often hear people talking about a God complex. They may dominate conversations or they're constantly seeking attention, and they focus primarily on their own needs and achievements, and they forget everybody else.

Now, you want to look for individuals who consistently steer the conversations back to themselves and show a lack of genuine interest in others. When we have conversations, we always talk about community, and we talk about collaboration and empowering others. So conversation needs to be balanced, and it needs to feel like it's flowing in a really, really equal way so that everybody feels that their voices are being heard. Now, the second one is the inability to accept criticism.

So narcissists struggle with accepting feedback or criticism because they view it as an attack on their self-image. They may react defensively, become angry or dismissive, and even refuse to acknowledge their mistakes or flaws. Pay attention to how individuals respond to constructive criticism or differing opinions in group discussions or meetings. This is something that I notice a lot.

If someone has an opinion, great, let's celebrate it. Let's be open to the fact that there can be multiple opinions. Not one opinion stands. Just because you believe it's a truth doesn't mean it's an actual truth.

What we're looking for is an understanding that these can be really great deep conversations that we can explore other people's opinions and really understand why or how they formed. Now, this can often lead to people taking on board other aspects and being more fluid in what they think. Number three is about manipulative behaviour. And again, the sad thing is, is this goes on each and every day, not just in business, but also in life.

And narcissists often employ these manipulative tactics to achieve their goals and maintain control. So they may use charm or flattery or manipulation of others' emotions to manipulate situations in their own favour. So what you want to do is really watch for individuals who are frequently exploiting or manipulating others to get what they want, and that they disregard ethical boundaries or they even engage in deceptive practices. So something that I see in business is that people, often coaches or service providers, will use somebody else to get what they want.

And quite often it's not in a positive way. We see it whereby the person is exploiting them, really, because they know that they have a need. Now, it could be that this person is more high profile and the other person is in their limelight. Now, that is fine if the relationship feels balanced, and there's a line that we need to draw that what feels good, you know, and this should always be the thing.

If something feels slightly off. Then often aren't got is right. And when we think about ethical boundaries, it's maybe sometimes in business I see this with suppliers, people pushing way past what should be expected of any sane, normal person. Because if you perhaps have a task that needs doing, and someone genuinely is aware of the deadlines, they know that maybe the time might go over, it's a particularly busy time like a launch, and that's clear in the offset.

But I've seen people working to 10, 11, 12 midnight, five days a week, without any pre-warning, and they're just absolutely burnt out. And again, they're getting no additional remuneration. Now, if you want to be an ethical business owner, which we all do, of course, we have to respect the fact that if they're not working their normal hours, there needs to be some form of bonus in place, extra money or perks to say thank you, and also to respect the other person as a business owner, not just as someone who you see as a friend or a colleague or a peer, but this person is running their own business and they should be rewarded for their time. Now, again, when we see deceptive practices, this is when I see the worst in the service providers, especially in this sector, because what people are doing is they are Perhaps maybe doing an affiliate deal.

This is something that I saw, oh, only last year, and they promise that there's going to be prizes, and these people work, and they push, and they sell, and there's leaderboards, only to find out that then there's another sort of hurdle to go through that, oh, you didn't quite qualify, so you're not getting it. Now, I've seen people win big prizes and never even receive them. I mean, that's just shocking. But we have to look out for something that doesn't feel right.

And with all of these things, yes, there is boundaries. Yes, there's having, you know, pre-arranged agreements, and also having things like contracts in place, and setting out a clear service level so that we are not taken advantage of, but also understanding what other people, you know, expect from us if they're providing a service. It goes two ways. And the last one is lack of empathy.

So narcissists generally have difficulty empathizing with the feelings and needs of others. They're completely closed to it because it's not important to them, and they tend to prioritize their own needs and emotions, totally disregarding the impact of their actions on others. And again, in business, this is something that happens day in, day out. I meet clients who've been in awful situations, experienced trauma because of other people.

And what you want to look for is pay attention to how individuals respond to the emotions or struggles of their team members, their clients, or their colleagues. That's a huge indicator. So, you know, expect if, for instance, somebody is ill, to give them time and space to recover. You know, if somebody is going off sick, it's not because they want to; it's because they have a need.

And, you know, we have to understand the needs of others and the struggles because they're not going through a good time. And even if it's impacting on you, we have to respect it. So this lack of genuine empathy can be a complete red flag. And honestly, there are so many people in life and in business that I see these traits in, and— The weird thing is, often they are totally unaware.

They would not classify themselves as a narcissist. You may even find them talking about other people as if they're the people being badly done to. But please note that these signs alone may not definitively identify a narcissist in any business setting, but these are things that we want to look out for. It's really important for you to consider these signs within the context of multiple interactions over time.

Don't just judge somebody within a first meet, because we've all had bad days. We've all had situations that we wish we'd behaved better. Now, if you believe that you are dealing with a narcissist individual in a professional setting, it can be really beneficial to seek advice from other people. Get an understanding.

Not about gossiping. This is about going to trusted people within your network or your business. You know, we don't want to have a negative impact on the working environment or indeed your entire business. So have a think that if your gut is telling you something, maybe it's time to step away from that individual.

Maybe it's time to close down that behaviour that you are experiencing. Maybe it's time for them to understand what it is that they're doing. And often a conversation can lead to, you know, positives. But sometimes addressing, maybe classifying somebody as this is not going to lead to the best outcome.

So maybe just discuss the actual situation and how you feel about it, and maybe introduce some positives. One of the things I noticed last week is I was working really late and it's taken a real toll on me. And I want to show up for work and I want to be able to do the best for me or my clients or for you. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to say that I'm going to do X, Y and Z and try and introduce a new positive behaviour so that it can be realigned.

Now, just because someone has narcissistic tendencies doesn't mean they're a complete narcissist throughout everything they do. I mean, some people are, let's be honest, but often it can just be not a situation of blame, but maybe a situation of misunderstanding. So we need to be open too. So I hope this made sense and I hope you've taken some positive from it because even if you have experienced any of this, there's always a way to switch it round, to turn it round and find a positive, some way to walk away and give the distance, or even just reflection and understanding that maybe you are experiencing something and you're not enjoying it.

How to make yourself feel better. Have a lovely week and don't forget to join me on the next podcast. Thank you for listening to Dawn of a New Era podcast. And for your free checklist to find out how to boost your business for growth, profit and success, and join our community, go to dawnmcgruer.

com.